You know the tune.  The last verse may be a bit cryptic:  References to Jane are to Jane Brookes who the kind people of Shepton Mallet had murdered for Witchcraft a couple of hundred years or so ago.  Nancy refers to Nancy Camel who has a cave of the same name (Tony Oldham has survey in his book as well as MCG original) on East Mendip and allegedely a witch who had a certain reputation in Croscombe (village near Shepton, on Mendip).  UBSS articles and the MCG News one on Witchcraft and ritual protection marks refer.  'themm refers to speleothem.  Butcombe is a local brew. Please alter / add / or whatever as it's something to start with and not quite perfect. Enjoy!

Is this a real dig?
It this just Mendippy
Caught in a mudslide
No escape from mud-ality
Turn on your light,
Look down in the depths and pee,
I'm just a cave boy, I need no survey here,
'Cause I dig it here, mine it now
Mine it high, dig it low,
Anyway the lode goes doesn't really matter to me, to me.
Mama, just broke some stal,
Hit my hat against a 'themm
With my headlamp, now it's broke
Mama, the trip had just begun,
But now the Bang's blown it all away

Cavers, ooh,
Didn't mean to call the MRO,
If not hauled out by early dawn tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as none'll find the tatters.

Too late, my dig has gone,
dropped carbide down the pitch
Now it's stinking all the time.
Goodbye all, the pub says I've got to go

Gotta leave you all behind and drink the ale.
Cavers, ooh (anyway the lode goes),
Don't like Hunter's pie,
I wish I'd never seen this Somerset at all.
I see a dishevelled caver of a man

Scaramoosh, scaramoosh let's hope the big bang goes
Hiltis and det cord,
Very, very deafening me.
No: Swillies-Oh!: No: Swillies-Oh!
Filled my wellies (Filled my wellies)
Filled my wellies (Filled my wellies)
Filled my wellies, Really smelly now
Mendippico ? o ? o .

I'm just a caver boy, nobody loves me.
Just a caver boy from a Mendip Family,
Spare him time from this beaurocracy

Easy mine, easy cave, will you let me dig?
This digger, will not let him dig (Let him dig!)
This digger, will not let him dig (Let him dig!)
This digger, will not let him dig (Let him dig!)
Will not let you dig (Let me dig!)
Never, never let you cave
Never mine again, oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh M C G, Oh CSCC (M C G, oh let me dig.)
CSCC has Goatchurch put aside for me, for me, for me.

{Head banging guitar solo....}

So you think you can kill Jane and look me in the eye?
So you can think you can dig all this without a lie?
Oh, Nancy, don't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta out, just get Nancy right outta here
(Oh, yeah, oh yeah)
Butcombe really matters
Anyone can see,
Butcombe really matters

Mendip really matters to me

Anywhere the survey goes.

Brilliant!  :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:

All hail ZombieCake

You chose a song already well adapted for caving by Thomas Smith of SUSS (written about Derbyshire), whose version it has to said is miles better, entitled Speleorhapsody. That may come across as a bit rude and trying to shoot you down, it's not meant to be - I'm just bitter that people think I wrote it and it's their favorite song of mine.

In terms of altering lyrics you rhyme mendippy with mud-ality, this does not work well.
The line I'm just a cave boy, is needless - why not I'm just a caver?
The use of broke later in the verse is somewhat jarring too.

It's generally well kept to the original meter and pace, although you fall into the classic trap of underestimating how many syllables are in acronyms. It also lacks a significant punchline although I'm willing to concede that may be a regional difference (you 'ave that mendip humor down 'ere). I look forward to more songs but may I suggest something a little more traditional? This is an incredibly technical piece and when you try getting cavers to sing it - it goes quite horribly.

Apologies for the critique and well done, I have become quite the connoisseur of speleomusic and comments are meant to be constructive

Hi,
Haven't seen the Thomas Smith SUSS one, is there a link available?
This was just a relatively quick exercise to have a go and see what's possible, and is indeed rather Mendip centric.
Agree with mud-ality. It does stick a bit, and is indeed probably the weakest part.
I suppose what was / is going on in my head re: emphasis etc. may not have come across quite as well on paper (or indeed computer screen) as I thought.
So, many thanks for the feedback and most appreciated as otherwise I don't get many pointers. And certainly no offence taken.
Of course I do have to ask: is 'Nearlywhite' a code name for Simon Cowell? 

Brilliant!  :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:

All hail ZombieCake

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Thanks for the feedback, most appreciated.  I'm not Alice Cooper so no need for the Wayne's World 'We're not worthy!'     

I look forward to more songs.  I have become quite the connoisseur of speleomusic

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Forgot to say, I'd really appreciate it if you'd send links to some of your songs or other stuff I should be looking at. Recent stuff I've been looking at is Sisters of Mercy, Goo Goo Dolls, Mike Oldfield, etc. although I have just bought a book on sea shanties that might have some space.

Simon Cowell of the 'underground' music scene perhaps, although I see myself as more of a Paul McCartney.

General principles of songwriting (gleaned from many wasted hours):
1) Write the 'hook' first - be this the punchline or a snappy chorus - if you get a good one you tend to find the song writes itself. Classic examples for me (and bear with me, this one's somewhat medical) the line 'My, oh my, I've just had an MI, Gave me Ventricular Fibrillation that has caused me to die' from American Pie - an easy song to parody incidentally, and 'If you're having rope problems I feel bad for you son, I've got 99 problems but a pitch ain't one' from unsurprisingly 99 problems.

2) Plan out the lines, writing the song as you go along isn't always the best idea - I tend to find it's best to do the chorus first, then the ends of verses and then plan out various rhyming couplets that you can use. The advantage of doing the latter is that after a while you know which words to avoid - like 'cave', save, brave, shave, rave, fave (shudders), gave, wave - it looks like there's a lot of good potential lines but after the first couple of parodies you write, rhyming schemes like that get stale pretty damn quickly. The other good thing about doing it this way is that if you do think of a great twist on a phrase - you can then write the line before.

Here's an example of that from my version of Going Underground (although if you attended Eurospeleo on Monday night you will know that this is the original obviously):
You hide the misery on your face,
When you see the Peli case.
The SLR needs a little tweak
and you?re so cold you cannot speak
Your bones and joints begin to creak
What?s the point and what?s the worth?
You?ll never win a Hidden Earth!

The last line was written first. This allowed progression through the verse to a punchline as you've got to give it context. The only downside is that 'Earth' isn't great to rhyme, so you wrestle around with a mediocre line as a set up and pencil it in. You've then got to write a couplet and a triplet - couplet's are easy but the triplet... I started with speak and wrote out all the potential rhymes, and that became the second line once other things had worked out - don't be afraid to pick lyrics out and move them around in a song, there's a reason why you like them.

My idol (Tom Lehrer) clearly uses this method in the song 'when you are old and grey' with the rhyming train:
An awful debility,
A lessened utility,
A loss of mobility
Is a strong possibility.
In all probability
I'll lose my virility
And you your fertility
And desirability,
And this liability
Of total sterility
Will lead to hostility
And a sense of futility,
So let's act with agility
While we still have facility,
For we'll soon reach senility
And lose the ability.

3) The right kind of song to parody is really any song you can parody. Rap takes a lot of effort and I wouldn't recommend touching it until you feel confident as you end up breaking rhythm or changing it - it's pretty damn challenging anyway. Songs with meaty verses are more forgiving of poor writing but taking time with short songs that showcase the lyrics often feels more rewarding. One of the best songs I've ever written was Doline, particularly the verse:
Mine workings collapse and rot
Pepper hills with slips and pots.
Industrial forget-me-nots, Dolines

Anyway I'd recommend playing around with stuff you're familiar with first and then try your hand at songs that are quite lyric focused (musicals, disney, 'classic' rock etc.). I think that's enough for one post...

I assume Mr Nearlywhite you did the speleomusic history at Eurospeleo. A lot of fun. What branch of medicine are you in? You follow in a fine tradition of musical medics (although I certainly don't qualify!).

mrodoc said:

I assume Mr Nearlywhite you did the speleomusic history at Eurospeleo. A lot of fun. What branch of medicine are you in? You follow in a fine tradition of musical medics (although I certainly don't qualify!).

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Yup, and it's the only international presentation I can put in my portfolio... Sadly I can't say the same for my branch (T&O).
As for the musical medical tradition I'm a proud alumnus of the Sheffield Medics Revue

Ah, you are an arthropod.

Nearlywhite - many thanks for the pointers and sagely advice, most appreciated.  Must admit I quite like Weird Al Yankovic's version of American Pie: "The Saga Begins'.

A while back I had a go at Sailing by Mike Oldfield.  After Rod Stewart appeared on Graham Norton I had a go at sailing by Rod Stewart so here it is.  An hour or so effort later plus a good few beers and this was the result.  Green = Priddy Green (Priddy = Mendip). Sump1 = Swildon's and original early diving references (a cave in the Priddy area, and relatively popular by all accounts).  There's also an obscure ref to Priddy Green Sink, which has interesting farm content and connects to Swildon's (OK, maybe not at the 20... artistic licence).
Wookey is where Chewbacca lives an a cave far, far, away from Swildon's.
Thoughts good, bad or indifferent welcome.

We are caving
We are caving
Mendip again
'cross the Green
I am Caving
Sump 1 waters
To get nearer
To Woo-key

I am falling
I am falling
Like a turd
Down the pan
I am falling
Down the Twenty
To Woo-key

Dive line shorter, Dive line shorter
Might get tangled, far away
I am denying, forever diving
To get nearer, who can say?

Dive line shorter, Dive line shorter
Might get tangled, far away
I am denying, forever diving
To get nearer, who can say?

We are diving, we are diving
Mendip again
'cross the green
We are diving
Swildon's waters
To get nearer
To Woo-key

Oh Lord, to get nearer, to Woo-key
Oh Lord, to get nearer, to Woo-key
Oh Lord, to get nearer, to Woo-key
Oh Lord...