Okey-dokey, where shall I begin? Met with Danny in Cheddar Gorge at 10:00am and then drove amid some traffic to meet Wallop (Mat B) at Clevedon M5 junction at 10:20ish (very "ish" `cos it was more like 10:40). Then followed him to his house and loaded up the creaky old charabanc and trundled on to Redbrook to collect the key and then got lost - this is the usual Cheddar CC FOD tradition and no trip to the Forest would be complete without arguments over map reading.
Eventually arrived at the luxurious layby, kitted up and ran to the cave for medals and pics. The entrance was hard to open but between the three of us and using our collective brute force and ultra-ignorance we managed to get in without resorting to crying or swearing. We get in at 12:30 on the nose.
Me and Wallop before the "near death" experience.
Wallop and me on the approach to the first pitch for rigging; note the look of mild apprehension, as though perhaps we've cottoned on to the foreboding nastiness which awaits.... (pic: Danny)
The entrance series was simple as usual - mind you, Danny B was new to this cave so it was terra incognita as far as he was concerned - until we got to the big pitch with the wobbly boulder at the top. This was expertly rigged by me (the expert) and Danny descended first, looking top-notch in his SRT regalia and ruggedly handsome to boot - lucky chap.
Danny B ready to ROCK AND ROLL! Black and white for added arty-fartiness.
Wallop went next - after his last near-miss event here on a previous trip we were keen to make everything go just perfect so double and triple checking of everything before he jumped down the hole. Unfortunately mid way down due to unforeseen circumstances the free end of the abseil rope ended up being looped round his neck which caused a moment of interest and visions of a rather nasty and difficult to explain accident; I was ready to cut the rope, Touching the Void stylee, since bruised feet would be better than loss of breathing but it didn't come to that since Wallop sorted everything out in a calm and safe manner.
Me descending last, pic courtesy Danny.
We ditch the kit and do the crawl to Cross Stream Junction; this took us 45mins to get to (from entering the cave) which was actually quite tardy but AOK with a small group like ours. Upstream to Zuree Aven and the climb was quite exhilarating and wet despite the lack of rain and thankfully it didn't have a stench of poo so the sewerage pumping station was obviously not on full churn.
Wallop climbing up the 18m waterfall
Through the graveyard after a mild detour, checking out the wrong way - I didn't bother bringing the survey for this trip since (a) I couldn't be arsed to rummage around for it and (b) I can't get lost in this cave. Obviously I should have made the effort to do (a) since (b) was clearly a misleading and unwise frame of mind to cling on to. Anyway, we locate the graveyard and gnome garden and then head along the nice passages towards the Chunnel....
Wallop on the approach to the Chunnel
At a junction the obvious way on is instantly lost. Wallop has a quite look and determines that the apparent way on closes down; I have a quick snifter at a well muddied but small crawling tunnel and Danny is keen to lead on through here so I hold back and wait for confirmation of whether or not it happens to actually be the way on. After a while the muffled shout of "It's not this way, it closes down" are vaguely discerned so we await the pilgrim's return. Undismayed by my crap route finding the team follow me as I amble back to the previous junction thinking that perhaps we should have taken a turning there. Checking reveals our search to be fruitless. A moment of lucidity brings me to double check the very first of our earlier options and hey presto it doesn't close down, it leads via a low slab into the Chunnel, with the inflatable bat as proof that we are now cooking on gas and all things are rockin' and a rollin'.
Along the Chunnel we go and reach the left turn to the Round Trip; however, we had hatched a cunning plan to go along Kiln Passage; this I had originally visited only once back in 2000 during the Forest Symposium on a trip ably led by Mr. Greg Jones to go and see the magnificent formations found at the end of this 500m long passage. After that trip my companion, Glynn, vowed not to repeat the experience on the grounds that the formations weren't quite as magnificent as we had been led to believe. I think my comment at the time was something like "You haven't been to Shatter Cave, have you Greg?". Anyway I digress (no change there, then). We stash our drinks at the junction and gird ourselves for the coming onslaught (no pun intended). Before we get 5m the roof looks a bit suspect as a newly collapsed slab appears to have dropped out of it so I take a while to have a look-see. Tapping the hollow and loose-sounding large slabs above our heads reveals that they don't instantly collapse so we declare the route safe and continue. Variously stooping, boulder hopping and crawling along the narrow and winding passage takes us a fair old time until we get to the small traversing section and turn off towards the arduous crawl in the low wet muddy stinky prawn and leech section; eventually arriving at the amazing bit. Photo. Return. Drinks. Now 3:00pm; time from entry, 2hrs30mins
Danny then takes on the route finding challenge - lead us through the tortuous route back towards the streamway; without a hitch he did just that and we regained Cross Stream Junction in 40mins. Woa! The streamway wasn't at all poo-swirling.
Back along the crawl towards the base of the pitches and kit up without any problems and I ascend first; Wallop goes 2nd and Danny brings up the rear; judging by the grins and positive noises, W rather enjoys this SRT lark and so does D. Up the next and bag up all the rope etc. and then simply return up the fixed ladders to daylight. Out at 4:30pm. Easy maths, 4hrs30min trip. Neat.
Quick walk back up the steep hill and offski. Home via another map-reading "this way, no that way, no this way, no that way" moment of lostness and return the key before finding our way back to God's Own Country.
Marvellous.
Smiles all round
So, Gentlemen, your recollections of today's events please......
