A premature epitaph or maybe not....

Simon Beck

Member
This thread i'll no doubt delete when i realise what a tit i've been sharing these feelings with you all.
I've been a contributor to this site on and off for years, as some of you may recall.  The majority of the material i published was generally not warmed to by most folk, due to my attitude, etiquette, ideals etc..... I don't blame folk for their hostile retorts, you had a goddamn given right to take offence to it. Even though a large portion was me just taking the piss, i really didn't give a damn if people did or didn't like me, because of my position in this world i.e born in the yorkshire dales, resident in skipton, the best caving in the country on my doorstep, i didn't need to be welcomed by anyone etc...etc Plus, that anti-establishment side of me was present at school when for reasons unknown or just to test the bounds i would question or oppose.
Even though i made few friends initially here, or ever met a majority of you in person, i still felt an affinity to you all and it filled me with warmth during a number of my autononmous undertakings to know that i would be sharing my experiences with you and that's precisely why i did, because such experiences are difficult (extremely difficult actually) to keep to oneself. Plus on a number of occasions, my contributions did gain me a few long term partners or two.
Recently i walked away from the scene completely and relocated to a place far removed from the caving frontier of the dales...LONDON (not the 1st time i've lived here though). I'm back working as a bicycle courier, getting paid peanuts (unlike 02/03 when ridiculously large sums of money could be earned) to get my kicks 5days a week and the guilt free ability to do nothing at weekends other than relax.
The reasons for my departure from the caving world's a long story and before relocating to london over the new year i'd done very little since may/june 09 and instead spent the summer rock climbing, a damn good one at that!. I sold most of my caving & diving kit and gave my 1000 plus foot collection of ropes to a good cause. Albeit the winning bidder of one item in particular, is lucky i didn't shove his money down his throat when he had the nerve to inspect the piece of equipment before handing over the cash, especially after i'd had the decency to deliver the item to him!.
Since my early teens i've had a whole host of obsessions relating to outdoor pursuits, i.e fly fishing, mountain biking, surfing, rock climbing, but none has been harder to let go of than potholing. This only became apparent this morning(thurs am). On tuesday afternoon i was involved in a spectacular collision with another cycle courier on oxford st (a regular occurence, especially with automobiles) resulting in two sore knees, a badly spained wrist and a wageless week spent idling around thinking about stuff. The only positive outcome being i got to spend tonnes of time with my wonderful girlfriend.
It's not the act of potholing or aesthetic that i'm finding it hard to bury, but the arena's in which the acts were performed, for example..... rivendell, the troubled waters and hallucination aven, gormenghast, 800 yards chamber, stemple rift! & the out fell master cave, rising mirth passage, heartburn crawl, jackpot, kamikaze, higham hall, speakers corner, forest passage, aurora hall, frakes passage, the baker series, hydrophobia and the 68 etc......etc.......................................... The list goes on and on and on and on.
Some of the above mean very little now like childhood memories and others have left an indelible mark on me. But no two have left a greater mark than those containing, blackpool sands & the swims, boulder hall, marathon and kneewrecker, langstrothdale chase, boireau falls chamber, NEMESIS! the sacred way, the agora and dementor................ these places will be forever etched deep into my psyche. Even now they taunt me, prowl among thoughts relating to my past, cause dreams and nightmares, they question my new resolve and call and beckon me from afar, like supernatural forces. Sometimes they become impossible to shake and i fear that i must obey. I naively assumed i'd left all this behind me.
I do not regret my new way of life one bit, because of my reformed ideals and views and with the support of a partner that means the world to me, i now enjoy and embrace, what i would, at one time have referred to as 'regular mundane insignificant passing moments' a lot more.
Unless i'm eventually left to lead my new life with dignity (which i seriously doubt) then one day i will return to these places, i have no choice and feel they will never leave me in peace.... The premature end.
This piece is for those who either know me personally and haven't seen me for a while (due to my sudden disappearing act) or those folk who are familiar with my past posts and who may have agreed and definitely disagreed with my method, everyone else can go and............ Simon Beck


 

Elaine

Active member
Aawwh.

I don't know you but I have the deepest admiration for your caving skills. (having read a lot of your trip reports).

Hope all goes well.

Elaine
 

Northern caver

New member
I echo what Elaine says. Don't know you from adam but, I've followed most of your posts and have nothing but respect & admiration for your underground exploits (especially Mossdale!) and general attitude towards caving. Caving needs characters like yourself, always willing to push the boundaries old skool style.
Best of luck mate, wherever you end up.
 

C.Raven

Member
Don't give it up Mr Beck its not that far to the Dales from London, what about Wales and the Mendips which are closer.
 

kay

Well-known member
I don't know you and you've irritated me hugely with some of your posts, but that was a very human and self-revealing post. I wish you well with all my heart.
 

Ship-badger

Member
Hello Simon
I'm Greg Jones and I bought your two Mini Q40 LED torches off Ebay, and great little lamps they are. I am quite sure that your epitaph will prove to be premature; though you got up to some scary sounding antics in caves, it seems it is more dangerous riding that bike in London.
Look after yourself, and I'm sure we'll see you back one day.
Cheers.
 

Chocolate fireguard

Active member
Nice bit of (cave) name dropping there Simon! Can`t help thinking you should have done more of the trade routes like us lesser mortals. Who knows, you might still want to go caving?
 

richardg

Active member
Hi Simon mate. good write up, especially like the finish. you may be far away down in London but you,ve obvously retained your unique Yorkshire character.

Richard Gibson.
 

speleotel

New member
Hi. Its great to be hearing news from you Mr Beck; the caves up here are not going to go away - they will all be waiting for you when you get back here - plus the all the bods who love you and who are missing seeing you  -  there is always space for you up at GG.  Come on up.

P.S Please take care on the roads in London; they are treacherous and not safe.

 

gus horsley

New member
Simon, I don't see why you have to bail out on us like this.  I'm an ancient codger who's left his best caving years way way in the past but I can still get satisfaction from irritating other forum members and even (perhaps) throw in a few shreds of wisdom now and again.  Once a caver always a caver, eh.
 

dunc

New member
Once a caver always a caver, eh.
Indeed, I can't ever see myself walking (or would that be crawling?) away from caving completely. I guess each to their own, although it is a loss as some of Simons reports made for interesting reading.
 

paul

Moderator
dunc said:
Once a caver always a caver, eh.
Indeed, I can't ever see myself walking (or would that be crawling?) away from caving completely. I guess each to their own, although it is a loss as some of Simons reports made for interesting reading.

I can second that.

I got fed up of living in London back in 1993 sitting in the traffic jams on the M1 or M4 every Friday night going somewhere where there were either caves or crags and moved to the Peak District. So Simon may move back yet!
 

terry-w

New member
Dear Simon. 
I dont know you, and wasnt quite sure I understood your post completely - are you giving up caving because you think it will lead to a premature end?  This is something I have thought round a lot and had endless debates with friends and family to whom any kind of 'adventure sport' means 'dangerous sport'.  I also have a much loved partner and kids and my caving therefore reflects this  - I cave defensively and cautiously. I'm always the person who requests that 'just in case' lifeline, I have bailed out of trips with a dodgy weather forcast when everyone else has decided it will be OK (and it always has been). Of course it limits what I do, but my responsibilty to my family means that I always think twice about the consequences.  If this isnt the right time and place in your life for caving right now then have a break from it.  To echo the other poster, the caves won't go away, they will be there if or when you decide to return. 
best of luck with London. 
Terry.
 

Speleodroid

Member
Was great to read your post simon, and good to hear you're doing okay!!!! The Dales has lost an 'effin good caver, but i look forward to your return at some point!!!! :) That trip we had to the end of Langcliffe Pot was one of the best i've had so far, and was made even more special by undertaking the trip with you - especially when i saw your expression whilst lying in the dementor sump!!!!!! Its a feeling familiar to me, and one I enjoyed last sunday during a trip to the end of the Living Dead Extensions in PYG Pot - a trip which YOU need to return to the Dales for! You'll love it!! But theres plenty of time, and sometimes its good just to get away from it all for a bit. I could easily see myself giving caving a break at some point, and trying some different things, but know i'll always be back......

Anyways, all the best mate.......and take care! Upon your return to the dales give me a shout. Would be grand to do some caving with ya again!  :)
 
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