The barber shops are all closed, so can't get a haircut.  I was therefore wondering what do people do?  My general formula is if that my fringe can be pulled down to within an inch of the end of ny nose then a trim is in order. It keeps the barber in scissors and the comments from work in check.
Now the world has ended if I nod forwards hair flops over end of nose.  It's OK with MS Teams etc. as everyone looks weird. So for the real world should I:

a) Stuff my head in a lawn mower and return to corporate zombie,
b) Manual trim and hope no-one notices I look like I escaped from an asylum,
c) Buy more shampoo and embrace metal!

Comments welcome and spurious videos available after comments!

C: Embrace Metal  Zombiecake.
It doesn?t have to metal but music is good for the soul.
My hair looks like Robert Smiths out of The Cure so I have become a Goth.

Incidentally are you staying up until 3am?
I?m the opposite I?m getting up at 5am.  Just can?t sleep

Here you go ZombieCake - become a goth, although it might be a bit career limiting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRoSL0kdQFk

My daughter cut hear boyfriends hair last week with horse clippers her, don't think he was overly impressed with it

I bought a clipper off eBay. I know nothing about this so used my intelligence which told me that a battery powered one could run flat half way though, so went for a mains one. Read reviews and found a certain well known brand was a bummer. I bought a Phillips and its great.

Basically, if your a skinhead you cant go wrong, if you like styling you have a problem.

The clippers I bought are sold out, but this is the model I recommend. Philips Series 3000

I'd recommend horse clippers just for entertainment value, although a bit expensive for the odd haircut

My wife has always cut her own hair and I think has never been to a hairdresser. She wields the clipper on me and the kids with grim determination. However I discovered that if you set the clipper to ?? it is OK to do your own quite easily, give it a whirl.....

Remember these?

(My grandfather used to be a hairdresser - and that's some time ago!  These belonged to him.)

I haven't been to the barbers for 26 years. It gets a (very) occasional trim by pulling it over my shoulder in a fist and hacking the end off.

That said you have to be careful, I once carelessly left a few strands loose as I decended Geology pot. Nearing the bottom they dragged the whole lot into the rack, I stopped pretty pronto! Prussiked back up a little and untanggled myself from the rack.

traff said:

I haven't been to the barbers for 26 years. It gets a (very) occasional trim by pulling it over my shoulder in a fist and hacking the end off.

That said you have to be careful, I once carelessly left a few strands loose as I decended Geology pot. Nearing the bottom they dragged the whole lot into the rack, I stopped pretty pronto! Prussiked back up a little and untanggled myself from the rack.

Click to expand...

The last two trips I had at the Llandudno copper mines dave flowers from "goes" got his (farther Christmas) style beard caught up in his rack. Took a chunk out of his unkempt beard and the screems
where spine chilling. 

The last two trips I had at the Llandudno copper mines

Click to expand...

You meanhe did it twice? 

Luckily (ha!) I'm half-bald and skinhead on the rest - never thought I'd be able to boast about hair-loss, but hey-ho, it's a different world now. I've still been going to my local barber's though until the lockdown, as for ?4 I got to hear every bizarre tale possible from some pretty amusing characters, far too detailed to go into here - but it was clear their days were numbered, even before this. The actual barber is currently in a mental facility, and his female partners have been running the show (somewhat more efficiently since his incarceration), but were clearly not making the numbers. On the street I live, one of the busier shopping streets, there are now sixteen barber shops in 1.5 miles. Sixteen - and nearly all opened in the last two years. So the one I used, the oldest of them all, was just getting crushed. At least this has crushed all the others too. I cannot wait to see how all the Craig David clones who frequent these joints are going to cope, as they usually require servicing every three days.

Anyway, I bought one of these, and just use it every three days - cheap and cheerful, but it works - and if you still have actual hair, or even a beard, there's nine combs come with it. I'll never use mine so if anyone buys one and wants some spares, let me know. It says a four-hour charge time, but mine's been way faster than that. ?30 from Argos:

https://uk.remington-europe.com/products/hc4250-quickcut-hair-clipper

Fulk said:

The last two trips I had at the Llandudno copper mines

Click to expand...

You meanhe did it twice? 

Click to expand...

Unfortunately for him yes 
I did suggest on the second trip he uses something other than a rack as they are a bit bigger than a stop so more likely to kill a bit of beard

Wahl clippers and a buzz cut, on what hair remains....

The brand to go for is wahl.  This is what the barbers use and they're not too pricey -I think about ?60 now, though mine was ?45 or so a few years back. These are professional tools after all. 4-6 haircuts and you're in profit.

Do not buy a remington rechargable one. Basically it was such utter shyte I stuck it in the bin after one attempt. In retrospect I should have taken it back but hey hi

They are just like my American motorbike: built like a tank and rather loud....

cavemanmike said:

traff said:

I haven't been to the barbers for 26 years. It gets a (very) occasional trim by pulling it over my shoulder in a fist and hacking the end off.

That said you have to be careful, I once carelessly left a few strands loose as I decended Geology pot. Nearing the bottom they dragged the whole lot into the rack, I stopped pretty pronto! Prussiked back up a little and untanggled myself from the rack.

Click to expand...

The last two trips I had at the Llandudno copper mines dave flowers from "goes" got his (farther Christmas) style beard caught up in his rack. Took a chunk out of his unkempt beard and the screems
where spine chilling. 

Click to expand...

Been there down that - not nice!

Not for you mrodoc but hilarious for us

Roger W said:

Remember these?

(My grandfather used to be a hairdresser - and that's some time ago!  These belonged to him.)

Click to expand...

My wife bought me one of those from a charity shop a while ago, I have tried it and it's much more effective than I would have imagined, but as I cut my own hair, it would be a bit tricky behind the ears I think...

I got a cheap Remmington clipper from argos about 20 years ago  (well technically my mum did, but I soon became the only user), and as my hair is very dense and very curly, I tend to keep it very short, so I cut it every month or so. Either way, the clipper lasted about 5 years, I got a battery one after that when I went to uni, but it was hopeless, so I got another cheap plug in Remmington. That lasted at least 5 years, so I got another one the same when it packed up.

The current one must be over 5 years old now, so really hope it doesn't break during lockdown if there is a national shortage! 

All you need is a pudding bowl. And maybe a pair of scissors.