Well?

On my first cursory glancings it immediately became apparent that the style of the Journal was mimicking early 14th century Etruscan pottery art with a hint of the fevered meanderings of the now debunked Victorian writer Albert Magnusopus; these early observations soon feathered into a viewpoint that perhaps it was Albert's brother, Rupert, who should have been debunked and perhaps rather than Etruscan, Mayan would have been more of an apt description. The Journal is a magnificent tome, running to a mere twelve chapters comprising in excess of eleven hundred pages with forty eight pages of illustrations, coloured plates and full page pull out depictions of the usual cavers' offerings - scantily clad nymphs in highly suggestive poses, eliciting strong vital urges and unleashing the power of kundalini. The other chakras do not go amiss, either.

Turning the page and noting the fine heuristic philosophy of the editor proved this was a publication to admire; furthermore the generic layout and formatting is of the best. With an eclectic array of idiosyncratic authors ranging from the two Chrisses, to Sparrow and Rowland, it almost goes without saying that this was always going to be a good read, albeit one where a dictionary would be eagerly thumbed regularly and therefore of absolute necessity as a companion throughout.

The paper quality is entirely adequate, and unless my senses mislead me I sincerely believe it to be eighty five grams per square metre, acid free, cross woven Edinburgh plaid pure white executive mint A4 paper. The staples are standard 10mm gauge steel while the fold creating the A5 dimensions is detectably done by the fold-by-eye and finger/thumb creasing technique. The colour printing is fine and Data Publishing Services have once again done themselves proud - I have no reason to doubt the veracity of the assurance that "the cheque is in the post", either.

Page two leads the eye towards the style of an eminent speleological author, director and legend, Mr. A--- S----- with his account of the seemingly impossible grand proposal of visiting Smiths Armoury. Although my reference copy is not presently alongside me as I write this short precis I do recall the use of some stunningly illustrative photographs which capture the excitement, nay horror, of this endeavour.

Further pages explicitly and quixotically recount the demands and tribulations surrounding the unresolved promises residing behind the mother of all foolishness, the dig up through Damocles Rift. The Author's style is witty, succinct and informative and deserves higher praise than will be given here.

The meat in the sandwich is soon reached; the stunning simplicity and genuis of the mind which gave birth to the idea of publishing a list of trips for 2005 is beyond question; the choice and spacing of the trips again shows foresight and the variety and descriptive prolegomena to each trip is exemplary.

Subsequent pages contain examples of past activities all written in a highly readable and involving style with lavish embellishments in the form of commissioned illustrations, obviously done by a feminine hand, and full colour photography of not inconsiderable talent, stupendous and rewarding, albeit with one slight caveat - had space allowed and finances permitted, more visual representations of the subterranean voids would have been accepted with great satisfaction.

The choice of font style, line spacing, paragraph placement, text/art ratio and overuse of exclamation is also well thought through!!! The layout of the whole is an example to all.

The envelope in which the Journal arrived was well chosen for its post industrial iconoclasm and retro irony, as indeed were the handpainted facsimilie postage stamps of a gurning matriarch. All very joyful. An accompanying caption stating something along the fashionable lines of "I am not the only gay in the village" or somesuch could have improved the wit rating, in this writer's very humble estimation.

It is immediately apparent that this publication required financial backing well in excess of the cost per item to each club member and that perhaps some philanthropic patron of the arts was seconded into underwriting at least part of the epic production; all in all the Journal represents a breeze of welcome openness into an otherwise dark and secretive world of club shenanighans, dissent and furtive glancings. Long may it continue. In future years it may prove worthwhile to involve larger corporate backing, seeking generous monetary, or merchandising, support from pioneering and luminary organisations such as Speleolabs.

I would write some more but the kettle's finished boiling. Mmm, nice cup of tea.

Excellent crazed ramblings there Cap'n

You obviously haven't seen a copy, then.

Oh, and before anyone else writes in with further observations, "yes, yes I do" always write like this.

:boz:

Excellent effort, good work by all those involved. The articles were very interesting, especially the one on the Gough's dig what I wrote.
Good use of photos, and an excellent meets list.
In the light of experience a larger type size would be preferable, the Cap'ns lifestyle makes it difficult for him to read 8 point.

But the hairs on my palms don't stop me from typing quickly, you specky git.

No, seriously; the Gough's Dig article was my favourite too. I think you'll find the point size is 7 but Glynn can confirm/deny that. My eyesight is perfectly fine, BTW. Sorry about the cheap jibe re: your glasses, it was a heat of the moment thing.

Peace, joy and other fluffy stuff.

My Journal popped through my box a few days ago. Talk about a red-letter day! Let me tell you, this is no ordinary rag. Not only is it small, thin and discreet, it's also very, very absorbing and much easier to use than other journals.

Trip reports are extremely well written and not at all sanitised, whilst it's useful to see what's coming up, so you can plan for your comfort and protection. Full vibrant colour accompanies each sheet and I for one thoroughly enjoy seeing photographs of members getting themselves into tight holes. There's also a very useful meets list, this allows me the freedom I need to plan my caving life to the full. I note that many of the monthly trips, give me plenty of opportunity to experience P.M.T- that is pitches, mud and traverses, and now that I have been shown the ropes, I am looking forward to going down with Andy this year much more than I did last year. There is nothing more exciting than getting yourself periodically caught between a rock and a hard place.

I see that quite a few of the trips are of a longer duration; this is fantastic news for the women cavers of the club. When caving, many women take a while to relax and really get into their stride, a longer trip means that they have time to emotionally and physically prepare in order to gain a fuller more satisfying experience. There is nothing more frustrating for a woman caver than a trip that is unprepared for and finishes all too soon. Male cavers however seem to enjoy long and short trips with equal enthusiasm, as long as they have something pretty to look at whilst down there, they are happy enough and in this respect I suppose some of the planned trips are a little biased in the male direction. Personally, I always prefer a longer one- something I can really get my teeth into. I'm not sure if I agree with the idea of getting from entrance to exit as quickly as possible. As long as you're warm and comfortable, I don't see anything wrong with taking your time.

One of the trips I'm particularly looking forward too is waterwheel swallet in June, going through that lovely long duck will be the prefect opportunity for me to try out my new maybeline waterproof mascara. I tell you, it's so hard to find one that stands up to the job, and most either go cloggy or end up running down your cheeks. It can be a real nightmare, especially if you've forgotten your mirror. There's nothing worse than being caught down a cave without the right equipment. Oh, but I digress.

I'm confident that my journal will stay close to me even during my most vigorous caving activities and best of all; no one need ever know it's there. They say that even when you don't feel like it, a little gentle caving exercise does you good. My journal will ensure that I always have someone to do it with, even though I'm sure I'd enjoy doing it by myself. A bonus of this journal is that it's compact size means that it fit's neatly into my handbag so that even on non caving days I'm never caught out and can be ready to ‘go with the flow' at a moments notice.

I can honestly say that my journal gives me the confidence I need, to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. Always.

So, as your ChCC's ‘official minister for women,' (a lonely job in a man's world) it's nice to be able to come across something decent, something good and wholesome. Something without smut, sex, and innuendo, something un-littered with double meanings.

No doubt there will still be those who will see smuttiness in almost anything they read but, ha! Let them try to make something rude out of this journal…. I think they will find it increasingly hard.
Therefore, I'd like to give a big hand to all those members who have contributed (in no small way) to the pleasure it has given, and I'd like you all to know, it is most defiantly, good for me.

I do hope that with the publication of this journal, more women will be encouraged to get in the club, it would be lovely to have something girlie to chat about for a change.

Now enough of this frothy chit chat…I must press-on.

I like your strap-line, Mel.

It reminds me of the one. "You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her appreciate it". I've known many women who enjoyed a bit of gardening but I wouldn't go near any bloke who fancies it.

I thought the journal was good, particulary Mr Castle's article. I am intrigued about the dig that found the show cave, plus the far rift dig. Perhaps Chris could tell us more in a future article.

so where do I get a copy of this hot rag??? Tell me more!

If your real name is doug and you dig and you're in ACG you can have a copy if you cover the print cost (£2); ask me at 2moro's cscc meeting if you're there.

Thanks for your reply, I am not a member of any club at the moment but am wondering which club to join. Can you tell me more about yours before I part with £2?
I am also concerned about the font size as I have very poor eyesight (although I can see colour). From earlier postings I gather the font is rather small. Will this be a problem for me?

yes, `fraid so - it was done small `cos there's loads of text and otherwise it would have cost more to print

you can check out some guff about the club on www.cheddar-caving-club.org.uk (I think there's a link somewhere on this forum section).

Thank you, I did have a bit of a look at your website & feel I now know your club a little better. Overall, it's not a bad site but I'm still not sure which club I would feel most at home with.
It was pointed out that you have Andy Sparrow as a member. I noticed this because earlier my care assistant had informed me that there were 'Cave Safe Videos' for sale (at a very reasonable price, but it was only the first three!) by Andy Sparrow on ebay. Is it the same Andy Sparrow?

No, there's plenty of Andy Sparrows in the UK caving scene. The one in our club is short and handsome.

Just re-read your previous post, Duggadig; "I can see colour".

Doesn't this mean you're overqualified to be a caver?

:?

cap 'n chris said:

No, there's plenty of Andy Sparrows in the UK caving scene. The one in our club is short and handsome.

Click to expand...

I met an 'Andy Sparrow' once, though some time ago. He was an idealistic young thing with thick long hair. He was something to do with a band that was playing though I was never quite sure what his role was. A groupie, maybe? I've been at Stonehenge at least once a year ever since but never managed to meet him again, though I look for him amid the stones. He was actually quite short as I remember, but he was certainly very handsome.
(Oh, one more thing, it can't really be the same Andy, as the one I knew was afraid of meeting people in the dark, so I doubt he ever became a caving instructor).