How old is she?

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends £5,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a retail park to do some shopping ( she's a woman ffs)

In Comet she asks the boys in the pc section "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman cries happily.

In Argos she asks the girls on the Customer Services desk the same question - and they reply "about 29" . The woman feels really good at hearing this.

Lastly she goes into Sainsbury's and asks the checkout girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I'd say about 25." The woman replies gloatingly - so everyone can hear, "No- I'm 50 ." Now she's feeling really good about herself.

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, "Madam, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "Who cares? - go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast. He gently
pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay... How old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts and one last nipple tweak, removes his hands, and says....."Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?'

The old man replies, "promise you won't get angry?"

I promise I won't." she says.

He replies, "I was behind you in Sainsbury's."
 
Top