OK, so the "What's your scariest etc. experience" question has been asked. Now perhaps it's time to ask "What's the most hilarious experience you've had while caving?".

Changing back into our clothes after an aborted trip to P8 in a wintery white-out; stood in the layby, asses out; the distant sound of an approaching car hastened the need to get into trousers only to find that our damp neoprene socks had actually frozen to the tarmac. It would be an understatement to say there was a degree of panic followed by some mild embarrassment - not that there was "much" to see, mind. (You had to be there - more a visual gag than anything).

5-up in an Austin Metro (driving back from aborted trip to P8 - same day - `cos the entrance was frozen solid) driving like Colin McRae in zero vis down Winnats Pass with a bleary eyed driver toking on a doobie with me (plus two others and all our kit wedged in the back) suggesting that slower speeds on approaching corners might be wise (I think I was screaming). (Funny in retrospect.. we lived!).

Visiting Goatchurch Cavern with a caving Guru (who'd not been there for a while); at the bottom of Giants' Staircase the Guru slipped on the mirror-like path and clouted his helmet a corker on the ground and bit his tongue severely (not off, mercifully). There followed the now-legendary comment, "I didn't wealize it woth that thslippy". :wink:

The time when I had to take some "seasoned cavers" :roll: to a well known pretty cave on Eastern Mendip with a concrete tubular entrance; after unlocking the gate the screaming began and continued apace. On enquiring of the problem I was assured that no-one was going anywhere until the tiny slug ahead had been removed. `Blimey, whatever next?' I thought. Two yards later and the whole situation restarted, only the screaming was now hysterical. This time?... a spider. This was going to be a long, noisy trip, I remembered thinking to myself. (I was right, it was).

The time that springs to mind was one where I could barely move with hysterics and was reminisent of childhood hysterics where one little giggle from somebody else set us all off again,

Lay face down in the flat out muddy tube that was the snakes pyjamas dig in bagshawe, staring at jons wellies. Underground - who was lay behind be - staring a my wellies pipes up completely out of the blue, in the best Welsh valleys accent you've ever heard.

"Oher - dont stop - thats right - go on - stick your fingers up my 4r5e, oh thats good thats good, dont stop - twist em, twist em"

This went on for some minutes - reducing us to tears. It was followed by a tirade of foul comments, dragged up from the depths of UG;s turgid mind.

I suppose you had to be there - but for 10 minutes we were gone.

Also watching a lad stuggle to undo a deviation down tatem wife. He was on a fig eight and didnt know how to tie it off and was too weak(and hungover) to un/re do the deviation one handed. We shouted up to him that he may aswell get wet and just carry on down (which he did.) - However the extra rope needed to go from the ground, up to the deviation, down to his fig 8 and then back up to the belay meant that as he descended , a tackle bag that was tied to the end of the rope was hoisted up (about 20 feet).
The assembled group watching could all see that as soon as he undid his fig eight and let the slack go, the suspended bag (now full of water and perfectly positioned) would answer the call of gravity and return - slap band onto his head. Clearly the group stayed quiet and the anticipation grow - Whizz Bang Oww. Perfect.

Never a dull moment, eh Samster How dare you suggested I was turgid whilst layed behind you :shock:

Once long ago I was on a club trip with a particularly obnoxious participant who wouldn't stop talking. Whilst waiting at the bottom of a pitch, we all had our electrics turned off to rest our batteries - all except our chatty lad. Mid-sentence, a rather large rock dislodged from above smacked him square on the helmet, breaking off his light bracket and plunging all into darkness, followed by the shriek "I've gone blind!!" Yes, we all had a good laugh about that one...
Reminds me of a story from the British Army Caving Association who were visiting Canada some years ago. Similar obnoxious participant, only this time he was their 'guide'. They'd just about had their fill of him when, on their way out, he slipped and fell forward, managing to jam his helmet between the rungs of a fixed ladder. They eventually set him free, but only because he had the key to the gate...
Another story which I heard second-hand was of two lads hiking down a mountainside at night after a successful cave trip. One slipped on a root and fell back onto his backpack, which promptly exploded with a reverberating BOOOM scattering his kit about in various states of damage. Seems his carbide spoil bottle didn't like being compressed by the fall...
But my fav story is of two industrious lads setting up a siphon hose to drain a sump at the end of a short cave, and letting it run overnight. Imagine their surprise when they returned the next morning to discover they had only succeeded in moving the sump closer to the entrance, and that their kit was now on its far side...

:shock: The most amusing thing that happened to me was when I was slithering down a tight rift and my helmet got stuck. Not a big deal you may think but at the same time I lost my foothold and consequently was left hanging in mid air with the strap slowly choking me. Luckily I managed to jam myself in and undo the strap before it became more serious. The others in the party found it really amusing and a cartoon even appeared on the front page of our next newsletter :roll:
The other amusing event happend to one of my colleagues. Unfortunately I wasn't there to witness it. He had some novices down P8 in quite high water so he decided that the best option was to use the traverse rather than send them up the ladder. Alan attached the lifeline to one of the novices and the idea was that he would traverse as far as possible then swing onto the ladder. Unfortunately for some reason instead of swinging across he took a flying leap and of course missed. At this point gravity took over and as the novice came down Alan was whisked off his perch, across the chamber leaving them both suspended in the water. Luckily Alan still had hold of the lifeline and managed to lower both of them to the floor.

Many moons ago on a pull through trip in Langstroth Pot one of our party got suspended by his helmet chinstrap whilst abseiling the top of the second pitch which starts out as a narrow slot.

His cries of "For f**ks sake someone, stamp on my head" were met with a queue of volunteers...

Aguacate said:

Many moons ago on a pull through trip in Langstroth Pot one of our party got suspended by his helmet chinstrap whilst abseiling the top of the second pitch which starts out as a narrow slot.

His cries of "For f**ks sake someone, stamp on my head" were met with a queue of volunteers...

Click to expand...

Was this person called Ian by any chance?

Asked by a large gent once if he would be able to go caving with us. Politely as possible, I tried to explain that the cave we were going into, Winnats Head, was extremely narrow in places and I didn't think (I actually knew damn well.....!) that he would be able to make it due to his build.

This, of course, led to mild anger from the gent so we reluctantly agreed to take him.

Needless to say, he did not get very far into the cave entrance.......3 feet in fact. He slid in as far as his navel would let him (which was about chin level..............) before he wedged!!

As a concerned leader (!), I tried to help him out from below (it was hard due to the fact I could not see too well for tears streaming out of my eyes....), whilst a couple of my group helped him from above.

Twelve minutes to get him out before giving him a polite, "Told you so".

A few friends were visiting from Britain (I live in France). Went to a local cave, got changed, then found we'd brought one ladder too few for the entrance pitch. Jumped back into the landrover (still in caving undersuits)and set off for another place for which we had enough kit. Found the top of the muddy access track blocked by a car with a couple settling in for a quiet bonk. Arrival of landrover disturbed them a bit: woman's face beetroot red, man trying to start car. Couldn't get traction: they were even more startled when a bunch of furry-suited people jumped out of the landy to push them out of the way.
Went to second cave. Had a good wander around. Back up last pitch and sat on boulder pile rolling up ladders. (The late) Rich Websell started into his famous Budgie joke to pass the time. Came the punchline: two cavers fell off boulders and started rolling helplessly down the slope. A memorable day.

I have lots of memories of "when things go wrong..."

The time Mark was caught short while changing in Kingsdale, nipped over the wall for a crap soon followed by much swearing - he had caefully crapped in his oversuit hood...

The same Mark yawned on a trip in Swildons, managed to dislocate his jaw and ended up in casualty still in his dirty, wet gear unable to close his mouth or swallow, sitting in a chair drooling from both sides as he responded to queries if he was alright with more drool and "Hrrrmmpphhh"...

At the end of the Swildons round trip sitting over a hole near Victoria
Landing, telling Andy to be not so enthusiastic banging his Fisma carbide
generator against the rock as the base broke off and fell down a hole...

Recently nearly wetting ourselves as Steve filled his carbide generator from a trough in the field oppposite Oxlow Cavern, not noticing the bull also in the field thundering towards him and thinking our warnings were a leg-pull - until he heard the hooves approaching and just managed a perfect gate vault in the nick of time...