My mate has just asked me where his glans is. Dick head.

Wall calendars. Their days are numbered.

Reminds me of a quote in the press that read "Spokeswoman for Bradford sex workers says that working girls are getting shafted by their punters."

My girlfriend left me after I spent our holiday money on a penis enlarger. She said she couldn't take it any longer.

Wondering how to impress that new girlfriend? Wonder no longer.....

I've just had another run in with the police too. I really should stop entering their marathons.

"Dad, why is my brother called Alan?" "You'll have to ask your mother, Lora."

Indeed - a bit surprised here that it took 10 days! Your go......

When I was young I discovered that I had a rare condition that made me need to eat soil three times day. I'm truly grateful to my big brother for telling me, because my parents hadn't bothered.

My wife told me she wants another baby. What a relief - I never really liked this one either.

Both of my parents were dwarfs.. I’ll never forget how they struggled to put food on the table.