Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.

[tony from suffolk]

Before coffee: I hate everybody.

After coffee: I feel good about hating everybody.

 

[tony from suffolk]

At the airport - "Just thinking dear, I wish we'd bought the telly with us". "Why's that dear, do you think you're going to be bored on holiday?"
"No, dear; the passports are on top of it".

 

[TheBitterEnd]

 

[oldfart]

Where do bad rainbows go?
Prism

It's a light sentence, but it gives them time to reflect.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Cat burglar, Paris...........

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7563246837411532054

 

[ZombieCake]

Scientists have discovered how trees communicate with each other. It's called What Sap.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

 

[GarDouth]

My boyfriend dumped me so I stole his wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back.

 

[hoehlenforscher]

A Welshman walks into a ‘Spoons.
Tells the barman he's got a great joke about Reform voters.
The barman tells him that he's a Reform voter, so are the 3 big guys at the end of the bar and the 2 women sat next to him.
'So do you still want to tell it', the barman taunts him.
The man says. 'No. Not if I'm going to have to explain it 6 times"...

 

[Mrs Trellis]

 

[oldfart]

God promised man that good and obedient wives could be found in every corner of the world.
And then he made the world round.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

 

[Mrs Trellis]

My mate was given a metal detector for his birthday present.
He has only used it once, but he wore steel-toe-capped boots.
He said, "I'm just finding my feet at the moment."

 

[Brains]

If you are haunted by a chicken, it may be a...
Poultrygeist, or
Fowl spirit...
You should call an eggsorcist to help it
Cross to the other side

Sorry not sorry

 

[Oceanrower]

If you are haunted by a chicken, it may be a...
Poultrygeist, or
Fowl spirit...
You should call an eggsorcist to help it
Cross to the other side

Sorry not sorry

Really? Thought this was meant to be a joke section!

 

[Mrs Trellis]

 

[Mrs Trellis]

 

[Brains]

Really? Thought this was meant to be a joke section!

What's wrong with a bad pun?

 

[Mrs Trellis]

 

[Mrs Trellis]