Cantclimbtom
Well-known member
Pictured just before he flung Jess over a fence, put the parcel into a wheelie bin, photographed the front door and drive off all without ringing the bell
Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
- Thread starter Mrs Trellis
- Start date
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2026, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and the warranty is limited to the replacement of this wish or the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2026, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and the warranty is limited to the replacement of this wish or the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
ChrisJC
Well-known member
I guess you didn't find that Christmas wish in a card from Sainsburys...
www.dailymail.co.uk
Chris.
Card is pulled after being identified as 'invalidating trans people'
The card depicted the Dr Seuss character, The Grinch, alongside the caption: 'This Christmas, I'm identifying as a Grinch.'
Chris.
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
Please make sure you don't make the same mistake I did leaving Alexa switched on during sex..........
On an unrelated note does anyone want to buy 13 jars of cumin?
On an unrelated note does anyone want to buy 13 jars of cumin?
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
The wife of Evri's CEO has left him................
.....................................in the blue bin.
.....................................in the blue bin.
TheBitterEnd
Well-known member
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
Next for us will be Jan 9th, last was Dec 19th Same lack of collection next year too.
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
"I need a pen - have you got one?"
"Pen? - this is the 21st century! Here, use my iPhone."
Needless to say, the emergency tracheotomy was not a success.
"Pen? - this is the 21st century! Here, use my iPhone."
Needless to say, the emergency tracheotomy was not a success.
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
I went out and got drunk last night. I mean, really drunk. First time in ages. Can’t remember much about what happened, but I woke up in this filthy bedroom, clothes and underwear scattered everywhere, cheap and nasty wallpaper, with a huge, naked woman snoring next to me. So at least I got home OK.
ZombieCake
Well-known member
If you're struggling to stay warm this cold January, order the cheapest smallest item on Amazon then use the reams of paper and huge cardboard box it comes in for fuel. The blazing fire it creates should last a couple of days minimum.
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
TheBitterEnd
Well-known member
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
ALT TEXT: a screenshot of a "news article" from the satirical website The Science Post, (formerly the Spudd). It reads:
Hospital to replace doctors with parents who have done their research
Published on July 17, 2015 by Doktor Spudd
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - A large tertiary care centre in Sydney, Australia, is pulling out all the stops to try to cut its expenses. As of next month, all doctors and nurses currently on staff will be replaced by parents who have done research on the Internet.
"I can't tell you how happy and relieved I am when a patient tells me they have done some research on the internet", said head of neurology, Dr. Eric Sheppard. "It's only topped by a patient telling me they have a family member who is a nurse."
The hospital is excited about how much money this move should save them, not to mention the overwhelming support from parents everywhere.
"This is a great move in my opinion", said anti-vaxxer Meryl Dorey. "Most parents know more than doctors anyways, so this is a huge step in the right direction."
The current staff are in the process of being moved to other, less innovative health centres.
Hospital to replace doctors with parents who have done their research
Published on July 17, 2015 by Doktor Spudd
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - A large tertiary care centre in Sydney, Australia, is pulling out all the stops to try to cut its expenses. As of next month, all doctors and nurses currently on staff will be replaced by parents who have done research on the Internet.
"I can't tell you how happy and relieved I am when a patient tells me they have done some research on the internet", said head of neurology, Dr. Eric Sheppard. "It's only topped by a patient telling me they have a family member who is a nurse."
The hospital is excited about how much money this move should save them, not to mention the overwhelming support from parents everywhere.
"This is a great move in my opinion", said anti-vaxxer Meryl Dorey. "Most parents know more than doctors anyways, so this is a huge step in the right direction."
The current staff are in the process of being moved to other, less innovative health centres.
Tricky Dicky
Well-known member
2 cavers were caught stealing a calendar. They got 6 months each!
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
Coprolites aren’t my favourite fossil, but they’re a solid number 2.
Tricky Dicky
Well-known member
How did the tree get lost down Swildons Hole?
It took the wrong root!!!!!!
It took the wrong root!!!!!!
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
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