tony from suffolk
Well-known member
Granddad’s in a home now. Amazing, isn’t it? - 89 years old and he’s still an active burglar.
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Help us work out the future of the Inglesport Café
We've been trading since 1977 and next year will be our 50th anniversary.
The café has been part of that for a long time, running quietly in the background for years, and we don't think it always gets the credit it deserves as a genuine community hub. But we need to be straight with you: the café is under real pressure, and we’re not sure of the best path forward.....
Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
- Thread starter Mrs Trellis
- Start date
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
A woman goes into a chemist and says "Excuse me, do you sell extra large condoms?"
"Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
"No, but do you mind if I wait around until someone does?"
"Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
"No, but do you mind if I wait around until someone does?"
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
Every fortune teller I've met either lacks confidence or is over-ambitious - seems it's hard to find a happy medium.
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
A photographer went to a socialite party in New York.
As he entered the front door, the host said 'I love your pictures - they're wonderful; you must have a fantastic camera!”
He said nothing until dinner was finished, then: "That was a wonderful dinner; you must have a terrific stove."
As he entered the front door, the host said 'I love your pictures - they're wonderful; you must have a fantastic camera!”
He said nothing until dinner was finished, then: "That was a wonderful dinner; you must have a terrific stove."
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
I was in the laundry aisle in the supermarket. There was a chap carefully arranging detergent boxes on a shelf. A woman marched up to him and poked him angrily in the chest.
“You liar” she said. “You told me you were in the Red Arrows.”
“No I didn’t” he replied. “I said I was in the Ariel display team.”
“You liar” she said. “You told me you were in the Red Arrows.”
“No I didn’t” he replied. “I said I was in the Ariel display team.”
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
ZombieCake
Well-known member
The AI Therapist 3000:
Have you tried turning your emotions off and on again?
Have you tried turning your emotions off and on again?
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
It's the unseasonably cold weather.Does this mean that 'eat ice cream' now also becomes a euphemism? At least we were here when it began!
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
Before little Jimmy's first day at school his dad said "no more baby language like choo-choo train - you're a big lad now"
When Jimmy came home his dad asked him what he'd done at school
"We read a book called Winnie the Shit"
When Jimmy came home his dad asked him what he'd done at school
"We read a book called Winnie the Shit"
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
Three whores living together: a grandmother, mother and daughter. One night the daughter came home looking very upset.
"How did you get on tonight dear?" asked her mother."Not too good," replied the daughter. "I only got £20 for a blow job."
"Wow," says the mother, "In my day we gave a blow job for 50p.""Good God," said the grandmother.
"In my day we were just glad to get something warm in our stomachs."
"How did you get on tonight dear?" asked her mother."Not too good," replied the daughter. "I only got £20 for a blow job."
"Wow," says the mother, "In my day we gave a blow job for 50p.""Good God," said the grandmother.
"In my day we were just glad to get something warm in our stomachs."
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
A man arrives back from a long business trip and finds that his son has a brand new mountain bike.
"How did you get that, son?""By walking.""Walking?""That's right" says the boy.
"Every night whilst you were away Mum's friend from work came over and mum gave me £20 to do a long walk."
"How did you get that, son?""By walking.""Walking?""That's right" says the boy.
"Every night whilst you were away Mum's friend from work came over and mum gave me £20 to do a long walk."
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