Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
- Thread starter Mrs Trellis
- Start date
gus horsley
New member
Roger
Not very funny but I'm well impressed with the amount of time you must have put into it. Mind you it's probably funnier than this:
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The driver says "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
The woman goes to the back of the bus and sits down next to a guy, fuming. The guy says "What's the matter?"
She says "I can't believe that driver just insulted me."
The guy says "Why don't you go back and give him a piece of your mind? I'll hold your monkey while you do it."
Not very funny but I'm well impressed with the amount of time you must have put into it. Mind you it's probably funnier than this:
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The driver says "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
The woman goes to the back of the bus and sits down next to a guy, fuming. The guy says "What's the matter?"
She says "I can't believe that driver just insulted me."
The guy says "Why don't you go back and give him a piece of your mind? I'll hold your monkey while you do it."
Roger W
Well-known member
Hey, Gus,
My mum was real upset when that guy said that about me on the bus!
Sorry I didn't manage to tickle your chuckle-buds with my offering.
Maybe I should have remembered to point out that all characters and situations are purely imaginary, and any resemblance to any real people, living or dead, is sheer coincidence - except perhaps for the fellow in glasses, who might conceivably be mistaken for me...
My mum was real upset when that guy said that about me on the bus!
Sorry I didn't manage to tickle your chuckle-buds with my offering.
Maybe I should have remembered to point out that all characters and situations are purely imaginary, and any resemblance to any real people, living or dead, is sheer coincidence - except perhaps for the fellow in glasses, who might conceivably be mistaken for me...
E
emgee
Guest
Tony Bair was quoted on the BBC website as saying he'd allow his successor
"time to bed in". So it looks like Prescott has his endoursement
"time to bed in". So it looks like Prescott has his endoursement
gus horsley
New member
Roger
Please don't get upset. I hate to see a grown man cry. Not that I can see you 'cos you're in China.
Please don't get upset. I hate to see a grown man cry. Not that I can see you 'cos you're in China.
gus horsley
New member
This recently got nominated for the "Crappest Tattoo" award.
D
darkplaces
Guest
Is that an old brain from 'pinky and the brain'.gus horsley said:This recently got nominated for the "Crappest Tattoo" award.
http://www-public.rz.uni-duesseldorf.de/~fischeni/
gus horsley
New member
Dunno, I never watched it. Here's another contender:
Peter Burgess
New member
What's the connection between
and
and
T
tubby two
Guest
Apparently osama bin laden has been caught sh@gging a sheep in wales.
When interviered by police he said
"it was ok",
because...
...
...
...
...
... "'it was 'islam!"
tt.
When interviered by police he said
"it was ok",
because...
...
...
...
...
... "'it was 'islam!"
tt.
T
tubby two
Guest
Another, which i can't take any credit for...
"Subject: floors
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: .
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossibe to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."
tt.
"Subject: floors
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: .
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossibe to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."
tt.
cap n chris
Well-known member
Slug said:gus horsley said:Dunno, I never watched it. Here's another contender:
The B.E.C. GET EVERYWHERE 8)
.... but often to places where no-one else wants to go but everyone else has already been :wink:
T
tubby two
Guest
Instructions...
Go to 'www.google.co.uk'
Type in 'Failure'
Press 'I'm feeling lucky'
Smile.
tt.
Go to 'www.google.co.uk'
Type in 'Failure'
Press 'I'm feeling lucky'
Smile.
tt.
E
emgee
Guest
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