Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
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Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and asks;
“Do you have fish cakes?”
The man behind the counter replies, “No”.
“That’s a shame, it’s his birthday”.
 

tony from suffolk

Well-known member
The salesman in the furniture store told me the settee would seat five people without any problems. Then it occurred to me - I don’t think I know five people without any problems.
 

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
After going to the trouble of buying dinner for two, wine, flowers and chocolate, I would have thought that getting a blowjob would be the least I could expect...
Apparently not, and the checkout girl even called the manager!
 

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
I asked at the chemist today, "Do you have anything to clear up diarrhoea?"
The pharmacist said, "Try these tablets."
I replied, "No, I mean like a mop and bucket. I've just crapped on your floor!"
 

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
Sadly we’ve lost some of our local businesses recently.
The bra shop has gone bust, the watch-menders has called time,
the paper shop folded, the shoe repairers has been soled,
the food blender factory gone into liquidation,
and the TV aerial shop called in the receivers...
 

Fulk

Well-known member
Did the builders go to the wall? And I bet the tool shop got hammered (or possibly axed). As for the fishmongers, they merely went to another place.
 
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