Hall2501
Member
Throwing our kit into the back of a Peugeot Partner we set off to the dales, in order to attempt the much fabled penygent pot and Friday the 13th series. We parked the van outside the Bradford hut, while getting changed Nat threw one of my shoes at Rob who was having a piss, the shoe landed just underneath him and was consequently pissed on, a running theme for the day?
After getting changed we walked up the hill in our dry, roasting (Nat: ?Testical crushing?) wetsuits. Nat was having particular trouble bending his legs more than 30 degrees, and we decided it was probably best to go up topless (good nudity), after frightening many families and old couples with our appearance on the way up, we made it to the unremarkable cave entrance.
We quickly kitted up and headed down the scaffolding into the entrance crawl (Double kneepads recommended), the water was pretty cold, I was glad I was wearing gloves & neoprene. The trip down was much faster than we expected, probably owing to the ?pitches? we decided were actually mostly free climbs (thanks to mike for letting us know).
After about 4-5 hours, we arrived at the sump. Rob and I carefully climbed round the edge of a deep pool to have a look at the sump, I turned around to see Nat?s headlamp underwater, soon followed by Nat remerging from the pool, gasping for air. Exclaiming that the pool was so deep he didn?t actually hit the floor, he managed to persuade Rob to jump in too. For? ?fun?.
At this point I was pretty warm and there wasn?t much water in my wetsuit so I had no intention of jumping in the water with them, unfortunately this wasn?t good enough for Rob and Nat who decided they wouldn?t be happy unless I was completely soaked too, Nat grabbed my cows tails and pulled me into the pool with him.
A moment later I looked up to see murky water & my yellow light flickering above me, quickly followed by cold water running down my neck. I was having flash backs to some traumatic swimming lessons I had when I was 5. I quickly resurfaced to hear Nat and Rob laughing at me, I wasn?t friends with them anymore.
On the way back from the sump we stopped for food, Nat produced a clear bag of what looked like brown toothpaste, it turned out was toffee/fudge which had been tortured in Nat?s pocket. It didn?t look so bad after he washed it in the cave water & tasted quite nice (Thanks Nat). With slightly higher blood sugar levels we set off back to the 10th pitch, and the start of the Friday The 13th Series.
The original plan was to just head to the sump and back, however Mike had somehow convinced Rob a side trip to the Friday the 13th series, was a good idea.
After an exposed traverse over the top of the 10th pitch and some stooping/crawling passage, we came to a big deep hole in the floor (Eerie Pot), we could see the passage continue ahead and some questionable ropes and rusty bolts on the floor to the right of us running to the other side of the hole. Double checking the description we were certain that this must be the right place and we needed to get across the hole.
Nat headed off first, clipping his cows tails into the rope and edging his way across the traverse, complaining all the way, ?oooh I don?t like this, this isn?t safe?. Rob and I found this hilarious & assumed Nat was just over reacting. Reassuring Nat the traverse/Tyrolean was fine and the thin hemp ropes were probably CE marked; defiantly not attached to the wall with rusty wobbly hangers and an ancient hex.
Nat made it across and was followed my Rob, ?f*** this is horrible, how did you do this?? slightly concerned by Robs response to the traverse, I set off across next and after looking across the traverse I realised why they were concerned, ?Okay yeah, usually stuff like this doesn?t faze me but this is pretty bad?. Putting my bodyweight on the traverse above the deep hole, I carefully shuttled across to join the others.
So the misery begins? Nat began reading the description, ?Psycho Crawl deteriorates into a flat-out waterlogged struggle?, I thought it was a shame Sarah parker wasn?t here to enjoy this, she?d probably love it.
Optimistic the black book was over exaggerating I followed the others into the flat out crawl, after missing a turning somewhere we went the wrong way into, what we think were some choked oxbows, which ended up being worse than Psycho Crawl. After lots of face in muddy water, flat out crawling over submerged cobbles we were really hoping for a break at some point soon, eventually we stopped when we realised the straws ahead of us in the passage were blocking our way and were not broken, meaning we had obviously gone the wrong way.
Group moral was decreasing rapidly as we headed back the way we came, we gave the passage a second chance & I lead the way through more flat out crawling down another passage on the right. Almost as unpleasant a the first one the passage ended with some flow stone formation blocking our way, some backwards flat out crawling and interesting turning around manovers later, we managed to get back to the start my moral was approaching zero. (Apparently according to Ian Holmes the best way to keep yourself happy in situations like this, is to imagine yourself undressing your girlfriend, although I struggled to understand how an erection in a flat out crawl would be a good thing)
Back at the beginning we took a left turn, down which was probably/defiantly psycho crawl which was actually nicer than the oxbows but still utterly miserable and to make things worse the contents of the over packed tackle sack I was carrying started overflowing and getting stuck on everything (Apparently Watty went through in 1986, in his underwear! I wonder if that?s how it got its name).
The flat out crawl eventually opened out into hands and knees crawling and then into a stooping passage, where we stopped for a break. After contemplating leaving at this point, we deicide after coming this far we should at least attempt to make it to the sump.
The passage went round a corner into a canal, I eased myself into the water and carried on. Rob managed to trip over his tackle sack and face planted into the canal, surfacing he looked furious, ?ARGGH, I?m doing this fucking sump now!? With rekindled determination we pressed on down the canal, the roof started getting closer to the floor and the water up to our crotches. It was at this point we discovered the joys of pissing in our wetsuits, ?Ahh, it?s better than an orgasm?, ?yay, my feet are warm again?? ?I?m glad this is mike?s wet suit?.
When the roof started getting too low, we sent rob ahead to check out the rest of the canal, he came back looking slightly hypothermic and we decided to call it a day. Lots of miserable crawling later we arrived at the traverse over the top of the 10th pitch, while climbing across the foothold I was using broke off, luckily my hand placements were good and I didn?t fall off.
Arriving at the 4th pitch, I went up first, Nat had instructed me to double up the sling on the deviation, which was hanging dubiously off a flake. I folded the sling in half and wrapped it around the flake. On the way up the second pitch I hear Nat shouting, ?Brendan you moron!?. Not thinking too much about it I headed up the 3rd pitch and met Nat at the top. Apparently I had managed to rig the deviation in such a way that the karabiner somehow unclipped itself from the sling and hit him on the way up (I seem to have a talent for this). To calm himslef down Nat decided to piss himself again and everything was good.
To save time we split up and bombed it to the surface, after what seemed like an eternity of crawling I eventually made it to the scaffolding near the entrance and headed back to the hut. After getting changed I headed into the kitchen and laid out the sandwiches and cake I brought for the civilised post cave tea party, I had been planning this in my head most of the trip.
Nat Walked in and told me Rob needed my assistance, rob was in the changing room and was having trouble getting out of mikes wetsuit, after lots of pulling and homoerotic noises, the suit finally slipped off past his feet and hit me in the face, covering me in robs pissy, foot, cave water, very nice.
After the tea part I had a nap in the lounge before setting off home with rob. Overall good trip, I am informed Friday the 13th does get better eventually, so I might go back and tackle it again at some point. Thanks to Nat for organising the trip, Rob for coming along and carrying the bags, being an overall good caving companion and to whoever proof read this too.
After getting changed we walked up the hill in our dry, roasting (Nat: ?Testical crushing?) wetsuits. Nat was having particular trouble bending his legs more than 30 degrees, and we decided it was probably best to go up topless (good nudity), after frightening many families and old couples with our appearance on the way up, we made it to the unremarkable cave entrance.
We quickly kitted up and headed down the scaffolding into the entrance crawl (Double kneepads recommended), the water was pretty cold, I was glad I was wearing gloves & neoprene. The trip down was much faster than we expected, probably owing to the ?pitches? we decided were actually mostly free climbs (thanks to mike for letting us know).
After about 4-5 hours, we arrived at the sump. Rob and I carefully climbed round the edge of a deep pool to have a look at the sump, I turned around to see Nat?s headlamp underwater, soon followed by Nat remerging from the pool, gasping for air. Exclaiming that the pool was so deep he didn?t actually hit the floor, he managed to persuade Rob to jump in too. For? ?fun?.
At this point I was pretty warm and there wasn?t much water in my wetsuit so I had no intention of jumping in the water with them, unfortunately this wasn?t good enough for Rob and Nat who decided they wouldn?t be happy unless I was completely soaked too, Nat grabbed my cows tails and pulled me into the pool with him.
A moment later I looked up to see murky water & my yellow light flickering above me, quickly followed by cold water running down my neck. I was having flash backs to some traumatic swimming lessons I had when I was 5. I quickly resurfaced to hear Nat and Rob laughing at me, I wasn?t friends with them anymore.
On the way back from the sump we stopped for food, Nat produced a clear bag of what looked like brown toothpaste, it turned out was toffee/fudge which had been tortured in Nat?s pocket. It didn?t look so bad after he washed it in the cave water & tasted quite nice (Thanks Nat). With slightly higher blood sugar levels we set off back to the 10th pitch, and the start of the Friday The 13th Series.
The original plan was to just head to the sump and back, however Mike had somehow convinced Rob a side trip to the Friday the 13th series, was a good idea.
After an exposed traverse over the top of the 10th pitch and some stooping/crawling passage, we came to a big deep hole in the floor (Eerie Pot), we could see the passage continue ahead and some questionable ropes and rusty bolts on the floor to the right of us running to the other side of the hole. Double checking the description we were certain that this must be the right place and we needed to get across the hole.
Nat headed off first, clipping his cows tails into the rope and edging his way across the traverse, complaining all the way, ?oooh I don?t like this, this isn?t safe?. Rob and I found this hilarious & assumed Nat was just over reacting. Reassuring Nat the traverse/Tyrolean was fine and the thin hemp ropes were probably CE marked; defiantly not attached to the wall with rusty wobbly hangers and an ancient hex.
Nat made it across and was followed my Rob, ?f*** this is horrible, how did you do this?? slightly concerned by Robs response to the traverse, I set off across next and after looking across the traverse I realised why they were concerned, ?Okay yeah, usually stuff like this doesn?t faze me but this is pretty bad?. Putting my bodyweight on the traverse above the deep hole, I carefully shuttled across to join the others.
So the misery begins? Nat began reading the description, ?Psycho Crawl deteriorates into a flat-out waterlogged struggle?, I thought it was a shame Sarah parker wasn?t here to enjoy this, she?d probably love it.
Optimistic the black book was over exaggerating I followed the others into the flat out crawl, after missing a turning somewhere we went the wrong way into, what we think were some choked oxbows, which ended up being worse than Psycho Crawl. After lots of face in muddy water, flat out crawling over submerged cobbles we were really hoping for a break at some point soon, eventually we stopped when we realised the straws ahead of us in the passage were blocking our way and were not broken, meaning we had obviously gone the wrong way.
Group moral was decreasing rapidly as we headed back the way we came, we gave the passage a second chance & I lead the way through more flat out crawling down another passage on the right. Almost as unpleasant a the first one the passage ended with some flow stone formation blocking our way, some backwards flat out crawling and interesting turning around manovers later, we managed to get back to the start my moral was approaching zero. (Apparently according to Ian Holmes the best way to keep yourself happy in situations like this, is to imagine yourself undressing your girlfriend, although I struggled to understand how an erection in a flat out crawl would be a good thing)
Back at the beginning we took a left turn, down which was probably/defiantly psycho crawl which was actually nicer than the oxbows but still utterly miserable and to make things worse the contents of the over packed tackle sack I was carrying started overflowing and getting stuck on everything (Apparently Watty went through in 1986, in his underwear! I wonder if that?s how it got its name).
The flat out crawl eventually opened out into hands and knees crawling and then into a stooping passage, where we stopped for a break. After contemplating leaving at this point, we deicide after coming this far we should at least attempt to make it to the sump.
The passage went round a corner into a canal, I eased myself into the water and carried on. Rob managed to trip over his tackle sack and face planted into the canal, surfacing he looked furious, ?ARGGH, I?m doing this fucking sump now!? With rekindled determination we pressed on down the canal, the roof started getting closer to the floor and the water up to our crotches. It was at this point we discovered the joys of pissing in our wetsuits, ?Ahh, it?s better than an orgasm?, ?yay, my feet are warm again?? ?I?m glad this is mike?s wet suit?.
When the roof started getting too low, we sent rob ahead to check out the rest of the canal, he came back looking slightly hypothermic and we decided to call it a day. Lots of miserable crawling later we arrived at the traverse over the top of the 10th pitch, while climbing across the foothold I was using broke off, luckily my hand placements were good and I didn?t fall off.
Arriving at the 4th pitch, I went up first, Nat had instructed me to double up the sling on the deviation, which was hanging dubiously off a flake. I folded the sling in half and wrapped it around the flake. On the way up the second pitch I hear Nat shouting, ?Brendan you moron!?. Not thinking too much about it I headed up the 3rd pitch and met Nat at the top. Apparently I had managed to rig the deviation in such a way that the karabiner somehow unclipped itself from the sling and hit him on the way up (I seem to have a talent for this). To calm himslef down Nat decided to piss himself again and everything was good.
To save time we split up and bombed it to the surface, after what seemed like an eternity of crawling I eventually made it to the scaffolding near the entrance and headed back to the hut. After getting changed I headed into the kitchen and laid out the sandwiches and cake I brought for the civilised post cave tea party, I had been planning this in my head most of the trip.
Nat Walked in and told me Rob needed my assistance, rob was in the changing room and was having trouble getting out of mikes wetsuit, after lots of pulling and homoerotic noises, the suit finally slipped off past his feet and hit me in the face, covering me in robs pissy, foot, cave water, very nice.
After the tea part I had a nap in the lounge before setting off home with rob. Overall good trip, I am informed Friday the 13th does get better eventually, so I might go back and tackle it again at some point. Thanks to Nat for organising the trip, Rob for coming along and carrying the bags, being an overall good caving companion and to whoever proof read this too.
