Just got to include this classic.....
I'm Off Caving!
Packed up all my gear tonight, my wetsuit, boots and light,
Refrain: I?m off caving!
Said goodbye to mum and dad, down the pub, meet the lads,
I?m off caving!
My girlfriend doesn?t seem to understand me,
Trouble?s where it always seem to land me,
I?m off with the (*insert club name here*) crew, silly cow stay home and stew,
Refrain: Caving for me!
All inside a minivan, all the gear that we can,
Ingleton is getting near, time to pop in for a beer,
We only meant to pop in for a quicky,
A pint or two and then time for a quick pee,
But we had nine or ten, didn?t get on the road again,
Getting close to closing time, eleven-o?clock?s a bloody crime,
But we stayed locked in the pub, before we crept back to the hut,
I crawled into the cottage to my bunk bed,
Got put in the drag sheet instead,
Tied me in, couldn?t get free, I just had to have a pee,
Couldn?t hold out, what a dreg, wet and sticky down my leg,
And as you, may foretell, I threw up in there as well,
I woke up next morning, I was covered,
Felt ill and just wanted to be mothered,
Stayed in bed, all that day, I felt in a bad way,
Opening time came that night, then I felt quite alright,
Had a pint to get the taste, then two more, then we raced,
Inside the pub we had another session,
Thought by now I should have learnt my lesson,
Still I got out of my brain, then I felt good again,