Yes Grasshopper!

[Stu]

If our planet is inhabited with creatures made by God...is it possible that there's another planet inhabited with creatures made by the Devil?

Why do people, such as S.W.A.T or Seals wear the bulletproof vests where you can see them? Wouldn't people aim for their head or crotch?

If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?

Can you fart and burp at the same time?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

If your glove is too big, does it still fit like a glove?

Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

 

[Dave H]

Can you fart and burp at the same time?

My wife and two daughter can!

If your glove is too big, does it still fit like a glove?

Did you hear about the man with 5 penis's? His tailor made trousers that fitted like a glove!

 

[bubba]

If our planet is inhabited with creatures made by God...

It isn't.

Can you fart and burp at the same time?

Sure can. I'm sure fart/burp/piss is possible - must work on it

 

[Brendan]

Want to watch that one Bubba, with the risk of following through and all......

 

[bubba]

No way, following through would get you bonus points

I remember watching a comedian who was describing his quest to expel as many bodily secretions at once. He was trying to piss, shit, cry, come, fart, sweat, burp and blow his nose all at the same time.

Needless to say he was only partially successful but it was very funny.

 

[Dave H]

A certain club in the Mendips was banned from a local pub a few years ago for a very strange reason.
Said club and a rival club were filling the lounge of this quiet pub. They were all getting fairly merry and the tales of the club exploits were growing wilder by the minute. One member let out an enormous fart and a contest was immediately arranged between the clubs.
The champion farters from each club went in turn before the fireplace and did their worst. It was all fairly close, so intrepid members started dropping their trousers to allow freer gas flows. Eventually it was the turn of the club chairman to lead by example. The landlady was rather shocked when he not only dropped his trousers, but also his underpants to allow a truly unfettered action. Unfortunately, the fart was just not flowing freely and he had to push a little. Growing red in the face, he finally expelled the most glorious fart, but he had struggled too hard and it was immediately followed by a large turd that sat glinting at him from the hearth place.

 

[Brendan]

Nice.

 

[bubba]

So what were they banned for then?