When Does The Gates Micro Chip Start Working?

[ZombieCake]

Had the 1st covid jab the other day.  I think it may be defective.  Apart from a slightly achy arm for a few hours I've had no desire to chuck my AppleMac in the bin, attend Illuminati meetings, buy a white cat and a 1960s suit, hand over all my data to dodgy data harvesters, or sit in front of the TV dribbling while waiting for the subliminal orders in the colour patterns.  Should I go back to the surgery?

[ChrisJC]

They've obviously given you a placebo.

Chris.

[AR]

Given that this apparently is the circuit diagram for the secret microchip - https://www.theregister.com/2021/01/05/5g_vaccine_chip_boss_metal_zone_mt2/ it would appear that you're expecting the wrong things to happen, the New World Order is going to be Wayne's World.
I had mine yesterday but I'm still waiting for the fuzz to kick in...

[wellyjen]

I was expecting decent 5G reception in my head at least. Aside from receiving and acting on orders to buy a brand new Microsoft Surface Pro, nothing. Perhaps he is waiting on a big enough cyborg army to be jabbed before we are mobilised.

All Hail Bill Gates. Our God Emperor.
 

[Hunter]

daH enim yadsruhT, on lli stceffe os raf!

[royfellows]

When I had my jab I asked about recharging the Lithium battery but could not get a straight answer. Obviously everyone there was part of the conspiracy.

Avoid buying any shares in Human Lizards as they are dropping rapidly with all the business going to Satanic Paedophiles, although a hostile takeover could see a jump in share value.

[Jim MacPherson]

What you are all clearly forgetting is that the chimp gene was actually from the bonobo variant, so everyone is really chilled and dead happy with everything, that's the joy of becoming empathetic, honest.    

Erm... Far in gender neutral associate

[mrodoc]

They've obviously given you a placebo.

Chris.

Knowing the idiots out there I expect the placebo to deliver these effects!

[tony from suffolk]

Some reckon the vaccine will alter their genetic structure. If that's the case, they should regard it as an opportunity.

[langcliffe]

ive dun my resurch on the internet and it says george sorros has to press a switch furst. then it hapens.

[Aubrey]

If your Bill Gates chip is not working correctly you can reboot it by switching yourself off and back on.
Good luck with the reincarnation !!

[AR]

Oh no, everything's suddenly gone blue! 

edit - that reminds me, in a previous job we got one of the original MS Surface tablets (the ones that ran Windows RT ) for testing purposes. When I unpacked it,  the inside of the box lid was turquoise and a colleague looked over and said "looks like they've provided you with a backup Blue Screen of Death!"

[ttxela2]

Dunno but ever since my vaccine, I've had an extra 20 minutes in bed every morning wating for 30 updates to install before I can start.

[royfellows]

Dunno but ever since my vaccine, I've had an extra 20 minutes in bed every morning wating for 30 updates to install before I can start.

That is good!
 

[Speleofish]

As a Mac user I asked them about a reset. They gave me a HUGE safety pin and suggested I insert it into a relevant orifice. After much experimentation, i realised I talk through my arse....

[pwhole]

Thirty years ago at least I was trying to buy a Macintosh SE30 ROM chip, and you would have thought I was trying to steal the Crown Jewels I was treated with such suspicion by the Apple dealers, who had all been clearly instructed by The Management never to sell spares to anyone. Eventually I found some Indian repair guy in Wembley who sold me one for £30, but it took weeks of phone calls from the back pages of PC mags to find someone willing. I guess they had good reason to be suspicious, as I was using an Amiga 2000, and some bright spark had released a Mac emulator on an expansion card - but you had to find a Mac ROM chip to rip so you could flash the rogue one on the board. But I essentially then had an Amiga and Mac in the same box, and could transfer files between them - this is like, 1992. With Syquest removeable drives. Clunk-click, every trip.

But I digress - my first jab is next Monday