Been meaning to mention this one for a while now. Those familiar with Nenthead might have, on occasion, popped into the public loo next to the car park entrance (ahhh.. nectar!) These toilets are operated and maintained by volunteers, which means that funding is tight, and largely supported...

Donald Trump wants to be immortalised on Mount Rushmore knock yourself out!

We went there in May. Cheapest day out ever! Not allowed on the shuttle bus or the 'close-but-not-touching' tour owing to our dog, thereby saving us the princely sum of £29 per head. Paid our £3.00 to park the car and had a lovely wander across the tumulus fields to within 50yds of said...

Interesting, Jim. Likewise, I've never been molested by ticks. Aside, the recent hot weather has spawned squadrons of mosquitoes which have descended on my wife as a veritable all-you-can-eat mozzie buffet, yet they don't seem to find me very appetising. There could be a genetic component, or...

'Doctor, could you take a look at my penis?" [Doctor thoroughly examines said organ] 'Well, I'm pleased to tell you there's absolutely nothing wrong with it' 'Yes, I know. Its a beauty, isn't it?'

Without Hope or Expectation I offer the following: In my early days of u/g exploration, my mentor, Paul The Mad Butcher, recalled a time he and a buddy were ice-climbing in Scotland. While taking a brief rest, Paul's mate produced two Mars Bars which were unexpectedly not frozen solid. "Where...

Anzac biscuits (flapjack family) make an excellent u/g snack. Homemade ones are by far the best (especially the ones Aussie Steve makes). Google the recipe, they're simple to make, but go easy on the bicarb. I recently saw some factory-built ones in the Co-Op which were dipped in chocolate...

A mate of mine was in therapy to deal with his sex addiction. Unfortunately, he relapsed after experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

I've also got a Scooby-Doo joke. Actually its more of a Shaggy Dog story.

A local farmer has set up CCTV in his wheat fields to try and catch crop-circlers in the act. Nothing much so far, just a few grainy images.

Donald Trump had an arse-hole transplant. The arse-hole rejected him

Cinderella is sitting at home, missing the Ball, when Fairy Godmother appears. With a wave of her wand she exclaims "You shall go to the Ball, but remember to leave by midnight or your fanny will turn into a pumpkin!" So Cinders goes to the Ball, and meets a handsome prince with whom she...

Stuck on 4 Down. Natural hole in the Earth. Begins with 'C'. any ideas, guys?

Gottit! YMCA by Village People! OK, my turn...

3 'Hill's - how appropriate :D