Mystery finally solved!
While trawling the depths of our club website, I foung the following, penned by former member John Harrison.
The Great Subterranean Troglodyte's Turd
Lyrics - John 'Horrible' Harrison.
I've listened to rumours in pubs all around
About a strange creature that lives underground.
The truth can't be doubted once you have heard
Of the Great Subterranean Troglodyte's Turd.
One day down in Swildons, down by the Mud Sump
The creature had seemingly emptied its rump.
This new formation was after referred
To as the Great Subterranean Troglodyte's Turd.
Many have wondered what the creature can be
What ever it is, it must use S.R.T.,
For at the bottom of Rhino, I expect you have heard,
Lies a Great Subterranean Troglodyte's Turd.
The legend is told every night in the bar
By cavers who've seen it in caves near and far.
A great hairy ape is the version preferred
That lays a Great Subterranean Troglodyte's Turd.
If you crawl down a passage and come face to face
With a faece that doesn't belong in that place,
Mark it with a windmill and pass on the word
Of the Great Subterranean Troglodyte's Turd.
The creature was last seen in pants coloured brown,
Stained by the excrement he spread around.
The wrath of cavers he has often incurred
With a Great Subterranean Troglodyte's Turd.
In caves are formations with very strange shapes
I think they're the work of this hairy great ape.
If you chipped off the calcite you'd find there interred
A Great Subterranean Troglodyte's Turd.
The Tower of Pisa in Shatter I've seen
The cause of its tilting I think may have been
A slight hesitation or movement incurred
Laying the Great Subterranean Troglodyte's Turd.
The Elephant's Trunk can provide further proof
What you do on the floor, can be done on the roof.
Lay on your stomach and the roof aim toward
A Great Subterranean Troglodyte's Turd.
If you thought about helictites, now think on this:
Can they be caused by the troglodyte's piss
Or the steam that was rising, would not be absurd,
From the Great Subterranean Troglodyte's Turd.
The public at large can be thankful at least
That the caves of this country contain this strange beast.
Imagine the panic if it were a bird
Dropped the Great Subterranean Troglodyte's Turd.
