Oscar D
Active member
Oscar Doyle + Andy Thompson
Derbyshire’s most feckless duo have had Assault course in our sights for some time - so it was that on Saturday morning that we extricated ourselves from our nice warm beds, shook off the hangover and loaded up the car.
Getting to the cave just in time ~10:15 - we waited in the queue at the wallows and passed the student groups in Upper Gallery. Making swift progress to the Treasury junction we made a steady but efficient journey through Trenches and Colostomy crawl. Large banks of mud have collapsed off of the walls in much of the trenches - creating deep pools of water and making it a bit more wriggly in places.
Soon enough we were down Egnaro Aven and through the short by pass. Greeted by the roar of the Speedwell Streamway we sloshed our way up to The Bung with a quick look up Block Hall on the way. Relatively high water in Speedwell made climbing up The Bung ladder a balance between maintaining an air space in which to breathe and pushing your way up against the force of the water.
Thoroughly damp now - we entered Speedwell Canal where the water was well over crotch height - eliciting some unhappy noises from the both of us. The Whirlpool was soon before us and we Tarzan-ed over the deep pool and swung into Whirlpool Passage proper. Thankfully Whirlpool Passage barely had any flow coming down it and wasn’t pulsing so we had no nasty surprises on our way up.
We reached the start of Troubles Waters at around 11:25. Troubles waters being a reasonably pleasant little phreatic passage with a bit of water going through the bottom of it. Reaching part of the passage with what seemed to be two left turns - we took the second one and soon ended up in Pilkingtons Chamber. Realising our mistake we turned back on ourselves and follow the other passage - a small ish vadose inlet with a small amount of water trickling through.
The large boulders blocking the passage that required us to squeeze over them at roof level matched with the description of The Assault course that we had so we pushed on further. This first part of The Assault Course is excellent fun - the wriggles and constrictions generated by the chocked boulders makes for a good bit of fun and you can stay out of the water for much of it. Frequently you will find yourself half over a boulder looking down a drop on the other side back into the bottom of the passage - I spent a lot of time upside down hanging from wedged wellies.
Andy led is through much of the section - using all his Mendip trickery to phase through the narrow bits and tight corners that snared my lanky form. There is nothing tight at all that we encountered apart from one roof level squeeze near the start - nothing that really required any more tact than ramming yourself straight through it. It was made obvious rather quickly why the passage was named so - as there’s a lot of up and down to be done.
With only the odd short dig to confuse navigation - following the water is all that you need to do. We went round a bend and the passage became lower - dragging ourselves through the stream water - often sideways made for an interesting yet unwelcome change to the Boulder hopping we had gotten used too. It was then that we were really grateful that we didn’t take any bags with us.
On our merry way through The Assault Course - we got a look at some fine formations. Both mud and traditional calcite formations can be found on either side of the passage as you go along - my favourite of which being a sort of bubbly calcite flow on the right hand side. It was pristine white save for the very bottom and is probably one of the best bits of decoration I’ve seen in Peak-Speedwell, rivalled only by White River.
Much of this section has a rather jagged scalloping to the floor which makes a good pair of knee pads a necessity. We found a builders style knee pad abandoned half way through the crawl and wondered what kind of desperation you have to have to abandoned your knee pad in the middle of such a place. This is also where the fatigue started setting in for me - arms burning from hands and knees crawling. This is the main sting of the trip - if you do it via Colostomy then you end up doing 4+ hrs of crawling which will take a toll on many a Northern Caver. Andy suffering no such ill effect as he’d been bashing through Daren Entrance crawl like it was Giant’s Round for the past few months.
So it was with great relief that I heard Andy shout down the passage that ‘It looks like it opens out here - it looks like a chamber. I think we’re at the end’. Making a mental note to kill him slowly if it turned out not to be wrong. Thankfully for my sanity it was indeed the end - A Grand Day out is it a fine chamber of decent proportion with a pitch up in the roof and a pleasant water trickle just next to it.
Struggling to open my Yorkie bar with my cold fingers - I savoured its sweet goodness and checked my watch 12:50 we took 5 minutes to appreciate standing up again. There was no escaping the inevitable however and after joking that this trip really was a bit pointless. We set back off down the crawl. Getting the worst bit out of the way first and fuelled by the relief of the return journey - we made swift progress back down towards Troubled Waters.
It was now that the fatigue started to set in for me - coupled with my small breakfast and lack of hydration I soon fell behind Andy a bit. Wanting to keep moving for warmth sake we only took a couple of rests in the parts of the passage that allowed sitting. The water sloshing around the suit and up my legs during the various inversions and manoeuvres not doing my core temp any favours. I’d advise that you consider layering carefully for this trip - especially if Speedwell is at its Winter/Spring levels. I’d swapped my usual baselayer and salopette combo for my AV Illamina and shoved a neoprene hood into my lid just in case.
After about an hour of being locked into crawling mode - that sort of stoic resignation you fall into when you know that there’s only one way out and every thrutch gets you closer to a cold pint and whatever passes for sunshine in this country - we were soon boulder vaulting once more and we knew we were close to the end of the crawling.
Making it back to Whirlpool Passage at around 14:25. We lay down to rest before remembering that there was rain due later in the afternoon and that we’d better get our skates on before Speedwell Streamway got spicy. Thoroughly cold now we were hardly bothered by the water in the Canal - The Bung wasn’t an inviting prospect as I had become quite precious about my the only dry bit left of me - my head. Drenching complete we nipped back through the Streamway and the Short bypass and up Egnaro.
Marking ourselves safe from a watery death or entrapment. We buckled up our caving belts once more for the last bit of crawling. Colostomy felt like much easier compared to The Assault Course. Flagging behind again and waylaid by a cramping leg that refused to be any use - I made poor time back through the Trenches. Andy left me in his wake as he tried to keep warm. Re-united again after the wallows - Andy spooked me by hiding around the corner with his light off. Entirely on autopilot now we trudged towards Buxton Water where we had a nice bathe in the water to wash off and began our way out of the show cave - making it out at around 15:40 just before the cave closed and retrieving the clip board on the way.
It was a balmy 3 degrees in the village so we made full steam to the Chapel and its wonderful showers.
All in all a fantastic trip - not quite deserving of the miserable reputation that it seems to have. It’s definitely a bit of a collectors item and there’s no reason to do it except for the journey. The formations do sweeten the deal a bit though. Maybe we will return some day to do the pitches at the end - but the ease of being able to move quickly without dragging a bag was most welcome and I’d recommend this to anyone else going there. Those with good crawling fitness (Bloody Southerners) won’t find it very difficult as it’s much more an endurance exercise than a tight technical hell fest.
If you’ve made it this far then Well Done! Apologies for my poor literary skills and odd ramblings - Happy Caving
Derbyshire’s most feckless duo have had Assault course in our sights for some time - so it was that on Saturday morning that we extricated ourselves from our nice warm beds, shook off the hangover and loaded up the car.
Getting to the cave just in time ~10:15 - we waited in the queue at the wallows and passed the student groups in Upper Gallery. Making swift progress to the Treasury junction we made a steady but efficient journey through Trenches and Colostomy crawl. Large banks of mud have collapsed off of the walls in much of the trenches - creating deep pools of water and making it a bit more wriggly in places.
Soon enough we were down Egnaro Aven and through the short by pass. Greeted by the roar of the Speedwell Streamway we sloshed our way up to The Bung with a quick look up Block Hall on the way. Relatively high water in Speedwell made climbing up The Bung ladder a balance between maintaining an air space in which to breathe and pushing your way up against the force of the water.
Thoroughly damp now - we entered Speedwell Canal where the water was well over crotch height - eliciting some unhappy noises from the both of us. The Whirlpool was soon before us and we Tarzan-ed over the deep pool and swung into Whirlpool Passage proper. Thankfully Whirlpool Passage barely had any flow coming down it and wasn’t pulsing so we had no nasty surprises on our way up.
We reached the start of Troubles Waters at around 11:25. Troubles waters being a reasonably pleasant little phreatic passage with a bit of water going through the bottom of it. Reaching part of the passage with what seemed to be two left turns - we took the second one and soon ended up in Pilkingtons Chamber. Realising our mistake we turned back on ourselves and follow the other passage - a small ish vadose inlet with a small amount of water trickling through.
The large boulders blocking the passage that required us to squeeze over them at roof level matched with the description of The Assault course that we had so we pushed on further. This first part of The Assault Course is excellent fun - the wriggles and constrictions generated by the chocked boulders makes for a good bit of fun and you can stay out of the water for much of it. Frequently you will find yourself half over a boulder looking down a drop on the other side back into the bottom of the passage - I spent a lot of time upside down hanging from wedged wellies.
Andy led is through much of the section - using all his Mendip trickery to phase through the narrow bits and tight corners that snared my lanky form. There is nothing tight at all that we encountered apart from one roof level squeeze near the start - nothing that really required any more tact than ramming yourself straight through it. It was made obvious rather quickly why the passage was named so - as there’s a lot of up and down to be done.
With only the odd short dig to confuse navigation - following the water is all that you need to do. We went round a bend and the passage became lower - dragging ourselves through the stream water - often sideways made for an interesting yet unwelcome change to the Boulder hopping we had gotten used too. It was then that we were really grateful that we didn’t take any bags with us.
On our merry way through The Assault Course - we got a look at some fine formations. Both mud and traditional calcite formations can be found on either side of the passage as you go along - my favourite of which being a sort of bubbly calcite flow on the right hand side. It was pristine white save for the very bottom and is probably one of the best bits of decoration I’ve seen in Peak-Speedwell, rivalled only by White River.
Much of this section has a rather jagged scalloping to the floor which makes a good pair of knee pads a necessity. We found a builders style knee pad abandoned half way through the crawl and wondered what kind of desperation you have to have to abandoned your knee pad in the middle of such a place. This is also where the fatigue started setting in for me - arms burning from hands and knees crawling. This is the main sting of the trip - if you do it via Colostomy then you end up doing 4+ hrs of crawling which will take a toll on many a Northern Caver. Andy suffering no such ill effect as he’d been bashing through Daren Entrance crawl like it was Giant’s Round for the past few months.
So it was with great relief that I heard Andy shout down the passage that ‘It looks like it opens out here - it looks like a chamber. I think we’re at the end’. Making a mental note to kill him slowly if it turned out not to be wrong. Thankfully for my sanity it was indeed the end - A Grand Day out is it a fine chamber of decent proportion with a pitch up in the roof and a pleasant water trickle just next to it.
Struggling to open my Yorkie bar with my cold fingers - I savoured its sweet goodness and checked my watch 12:50 we took 5 minutes to appreciate standing up again. There was no escaping the inevitable however and after joking that this trip really was a bit pointless. We set back off down the crawl. Getting the worst bit out of the way first and fuelled by the relief of the return journey - we made swift progress back down towards Troubled Waters.
It was now that the fatigue started to set in for me - coupled with my small breakfast and lack of hydration I soon fell behind Andy a bit. Wanting to keep moving for warmth sake we only took a couple of rests in the parts of the passage that allowed sitting. The water sloshing around the suit and up my legs during the various inversions and manoeuvres not doing my core temp any favours. I’d advise that you consider layering carefully for this trip - especially if Speedwell is at its Winter/Spring levels. I’d swapped my usual baselayer and salopette combo for my AV Illamina and shoved a neoprene hood into my lid just in case.
After about an hour of being locked into crawling mode - that sort of stoic resignation you fall into when you know that there’s only one way out and every thrutch gets you closer to a cold pint and whatever passes for sunshine in this country - we were soon boulder vaulting once more and we knew we were close to the end of the crawling.
Making it back to Whirlpool Passage at around 14:25. We lay down to rest before remembering that there was rain due later in the afternoon and that we’d better get our skates on before Speedwell Streamway got spicy. Thoroughly cold now we were hardly bothered by the water in the Canal - The Bung wasn’t an inviting prospect as I had become quite precious about my the only dry bit left of me - my head. Drenching complete we nipped back through the Streamway and the Short bypass and up Egnaro.
Marking ourselves safe from a watery death or entrapment. We buckled up our caving belts once more for the last bit of crawling. Colostomy felt like much easier compared to The Assault Course. Flagging behind again and waylaid by a cramping leg that refused to be any use - I made poor time back through the Trenches. Andy left me in his wake as he tried to keep warm. Re-united again after the wallows - Andy spooked me by hiding around the corner with his light off. Entirely on autopilot now we trudged towards Buxton Water where we had a nice bathe in the water to wash off and began our way out of the show cave - making it out at around 15:40 just before the cave closed and retrieving the clip board on the way.
It was a balmy 3 degrees in the village so we made full steam to the Chapel and its wonderful showers.
All in all a fantastic trip - not quite deserving of the miserable reputation that it seems to have. It’s definitely a bit of a collectors item and there’s no reason to do it except for the journey. The formations do sweeten the deal a bit though. Maybe we will return some day to do the pitches at the end - but the ease of being able to move quickly without dragging a bag was most welcome and I’d recommend this to anyone else going there. Those with good crawling fitness (Bloody Southerners) won’t find it very difficult as it’s much more an endurance exercise than a tight technical hell fest.
If you’ve made it this far then Well Done! Apologies for my poor literary skills and odd ramblings - Happy Caving
