Caving and confidence

[Alex]

I get that sometimes, always in my head I think that my harness or rope is going to break for no real reason on the big open pitches. Really hard to push those thoughts out of my mind, but I only think this going up. Also, I keep getting paranoid of my helmet falling off my head on big pitches leaving me in complete darkness, again only on big open pitches >30m.

Stop it brain, you are being irrational!

Going down, often I have a more rational fear when its over 50m (straight drop, with no rebelays) that I won't be able to control my descent because the rope was too heavy, especially if the stop is a little worn. My arm gets tired forcing it through the first half of the pitch only for the rope to start moving more freely but my arm is getting tired. This is worse at deviations as it requires more strength to lock off. In my early days when I went down titan, I wrapped the rope below me around my leg, to have more control. No issue going down 100m+ if separated by re-belays, that's fine, would prefer Titan to be rigged with 10 re-belays than those free hangs weirdly.

So for big drops, I prefer to rig if possible then the very heavy rope below me is in the bag and not having to be forced through my stop, that's why I volunteered to rig Nick pot both times I did it, it felt safer to me.

 

[JefeBo55]

it's very interesting how people are affected differently by different issues. On short pitches, it doesn't make much difference to me, but on long (especially free-hanging) pitches I feel safer going back up ? after all, to the best of my knowledge, no-one ever prusiked out of control.
When you say, E Mck, you have to be within touching distance of a wall, is this the literal truth, or more a general, 'Not too far away, but it doesn't matter too much if it's only just out of reach'?

As you say, short pitches, not an issue really. It's more when the walls are way out of reach and I'm having and bouncing it feels like I'm totally out of control and I have irrational fears of kit failure which is made worse by the exposure. Really weird as I know the kit is bomber!

Going down I guess because I'm headed for floor it doesn't matter!

 

[Speleofish]

I'm another one who never overcame the loneliness of the long-distance prusicker. I've managed to get up some very long free-hanging ascents and usually managed to keep a smile on my face but if I'm honest (which I never was at the time) I enjoyed them far more in retrospect than I did at the time. From the comments being posted here, I suspect there are more people like me out there than I had realised.

 

[JefeBo55]

The long distance prussiker! I like that.

Ye it's strange as prussiking normally suggests you're heading out and to daylight but, god knows why, it does terrible things to my head. Anything over 40mtrs and it feels like the ends of the earth. I think when I pack ropes and look at how long they actually are it makes me feel even more silly as 70mtrs of rope isn't actually that much!

 

[mikem]

Taking punters on top rope climbing sessions is always interesting, as some don't trust the system to lean back & come down, & others are perfectly happy to abseil but don't have faith in themselves whilst climbing up.

 

[PeteHall]

Also, I keep getting paranoid of my helmet falling off my head on big pitches leaving me in complete darkness,

This actually happened to me once (well the first bit anyway). After a filthy digging trip, I was unable to fully close the buckle on my Ecrin but I figured it would be alright. I was last out up a 40m pitch and as I looked up to the Y-hang bolts, my helmet fell off, complete with my main and (only) back-up light. By some miracle, it wedged between my shoulder and the cave wall and I was able to grab it before it fell, leaving me alone in total darkness, with the others well ahead by this point and unlikely to come looking for me for quite a while, as we tended not to wait until back outside... Since then, I've always worn a head torch around my neck, so one less thing to be afraid of.

I had a similar run-in with an Ecrin buckle free-diving sump 3 in Swildon's. My helmet bumped the roof and fell off. I reached for the only thing I could see in the brown water and promptly plunged myself into total darkness as I managed to switch off the Duo as I grabbed it. One hand on the dive-line, one hand on the helmet, I was bloody relieved to surface on the far side. Ironically, I had a Pixa around my neck. Since then, I've not only always carried a head-torch around my neck, but I switch it on before free-dives now. Little things to make you feel (and actually to be) safer and therefore more confident 

Fortunately in both the above cases, they occurred at a point when I was very confident in that particular aspect of caving. Had these things happened when I was less confident, I would probably have jacked it in for good.

 

[AlexR]

Also, I keep getting paranoid of my helmet falling off my head on big pitches leaving me in complete darkness

I don't think that's an irrational fear at all, and the exact reason why my helmet is attached to my chest harness at the shoulder with a bit of bungee cord/ shock cord/ whatever you want to call it.

Surely everyone has irrational fears that occasionally come to the surface (no pun intended), it's just a question of whether they take on a form that is extreme enough to impede your enjoyment or maybe even safety - a panicked mind is prone to bad decisions. Even though Titan is effectively my commute, I very occasionally get into weird though loops along the lines of "the rope feels weird, the bounce feedback is wrong, the rope will break, etc. etc.". Personally I've found stopping for reflection unhelpful, if I keep going the thought loop eventually stops, but it's nothing I seem to be able to have any conscious control over.
Still don't like proper tight spaces and never will, long constrictions make my heart rate skyrocket. That is, if I have to take my helmet off for 2m+ I'll be one unhappy caver.


I particularly want to thank FionaH and Keris82 for bringing up the effect of the menstrual cycle on women cavers, it's fantastic that there are a growing number of women in caving (my partner being one of them), and it's an aspect of caving with women all blokes should be aware of. And I don't meant that in the sense of "women need to be protected", but "consider how much you'd enjoy caving if it felt like somebody was ripping out your insides".

 

[Keris82]

I particularly want to thank FionaH and Keris82 for bringing up the effect of the menstrual cycle on women cavers, it's fantastic that there are a growing number of women in caving (my partner being one of them), and it's an aspect of caving with women all blokes should be aware of. And I don't meant that in the sense of "women need to be protected", but "consider how much you'd enjoy caving if it felt like somebody was ripping out your insides".

Exactly!

 

[caving_fox]

I find enjoying myself in a cave without trying to push myself does me a lot of good down the line, though. Makes me remember I like caving and I want to keep doing it. So I pick people I like and trust but also who want the same thing out of the trip as me. The people I pal around with the most in the hut aren't always the ones I go caving with: often I don't actually want to push myself, but sometimes I do. I've employed tactics such as suggesting a cave that is less 'hard' but novel to all companions, or choosing one companion to cave with to practice a particular skill (usually rigging or ladder-work), or doing trips with photographers, or deciding my turn-around point and declaring it beforehand, etc. I guess it helps to have many cavers in the hut to pick from!

This^
One of the joys of caving for me is the team. I only cave with people I'm happy with and trust. Making sure we're all in agreement about what we're aiming for on a trip beforehand, but also knowing that anyone for any reason or none at all, can abort whenever they've had enough / can't /won't get past an obstacle. Some are happy to wait while the rest push on a bit, some happy to turn back on their own, but equally sometimes we will all just call it a day. I have felt disappointed when the team hasn't made it to somewhere I've been trying to get to, but I'd rather this and know they'd turn back with me on my bad day, then be pressurised into attempting something I'm too uncomfortable with.

 

[cavemanmike]

Period about bloody time by Emma Barnett

 

[Paul Marvin]

I find a healthy sense of fear goes a long way stopping doing stupid idiotic things and also not succumbing to peer pressure

 

[cavemanmike]

Respect the fear it will save you