Early Equipment Memories

[gus horsley]

I know a lot of you are young whippersnappers, but there's also a load of old farts around, including myself. I remember the days when caving was 'ard: piles of rope ladders sopping wet and weighing a ton, climbing Nick Pot on an electron and my first ever wetsuit kit. This was a sheet of neoprene, a tin of glue and an unfathomable set of instructions. I decided to also make the hood. Only I misread the instructions and omitted a strip of neoprene about two inches wide. I thought I'd completed it and proudly set about donning the wetsuit in front of my mates at the recently-discovered Valley Entrance. After spending half an hour trying the pull the hood over my head I finally succeeded but felt like I was trapped in a vice. I thought "this can't be right" as I slowly succumbed to suffocation amidst peals of barely-heard laughter.

Anyone else got any suitably embarrassing moments they'd like to share?

 

[bubba]

I can remember doing things like Nettle Pot in a full wetsuit - must have been mental!

And of course there were no P-Bolts either, it was all fiddly 8mm spits.

 

[cap n chris]

There are some possibly apocryphal tales of early wetsuits around here; one was of the "lay out and cut the neoprene" kit where some young chap was in too much of a hurry and ended up cutting not only the neoprene into the shape of a wetsuit, but managed to cut through the carpet in his bedsit at the same time.

The other tale I've heard is of someone who shall remain nameless who decided it would be easiest to glue the wetsuit kit pieces together by wearing a one piece cotton suit and glueing the neoprene on top of it while wearing everything.

Of course, the denouement was that he had to go to A&E and spend hours being cut out of it....

 

[Dave H]

A few of my embarrassing moments and old time hard caving stories. All between 26 and 15 years ago.

Doing Swinstow long crawl on a cold, wet winters day in a pair of old corduroy trousers. I completely took the skin off my knee's (although I didn't notice until I started to get changed afterwards) and then had to wear shorts at school for a couple of weeks afterwards.

Or after practicing abseiling using both a Petzl bobbin and a Fig. 8, getting to the entrance of Simpson's Pot and being presented with a rack to use for the trip (and it's owner had never seen one used before!)

Or being between the first two pitches in Tatham's Wife Hole with someone who thought that it would be a good idea to let off a firework he had left over from Bonfire Night. Or being reminded of it by another group in Ireland 5 or 6 years later!

Or being with someone who whilst changing for Darren realised they had forgotten their helmet, so pulled out a woolly hat to use for the trip to the Time Machine.

Or stripping off on the roadside in a snowstorm after doing Oxlow Caverns and gaining a lecture from a passing bobby about being more discrete - for about 10 minutes whilst I stood there with just a hand towel to try and keep me warm!

Or solo'ing the entrance series of the Berger between thunderstorms to retrieve 5 bags of mostly my gear that a group had left in the Grand Gallery at -260m (my last foreign trip before I got married)

And talking of the wife. It was embarrassing to have to drag her out of Swildons after a short round trip during which she became very cold, after I had said that she could have my wetsuit, as it was a mostly dry trip. Not so much embarrassing at the time, but it is when she recounts the story of attempted murder in polite company!

And to finish off the caving regions that I have visited:
Cutting my wrist on a Poulnagollum to Poulelva through trip whilst with a group full of cavers that had just finished a mountain rescue course. I was not very well after they hauled me up the 30m entrance pitch to practice their newly acquired skills. And then with it being a Sunday evening, the local doctor could not be found, but we did find the vet in a pub. He agreed to stitch it up in exchange for a couple more pints, paid in advance!

 

[hoehlenforscher]

made my first figure of eight out of two loops of metal welded together with some car bodyfiller on the join to smooth it over. Used to abseil out of trees and our 30 foot scafffold tower using it in combo with an old lorry rope (from which the sit harness was also made!). Never got to use it underground but it is still kicking around, perhaps I should bring it out for old times sake

 

[SamT]

made my first figure of eight out of two loops of metal welded together with some car bodyfiller on the join to smooth it over.

good effort.

 

[gus horsley]

I tried the old Joe Brown method of making climbing nuts out of real nuts with the threads removed but was too scared to try them out in earnest.

My first caving trip was Calf Holes - Browgill at the tender age of 11. It had snowed and I was probably suffering from hypothermia before I even got to the entrance. Seeing the water churning down the shaft set my stomach doing the same thing and I puked over the lip. The guy leading the trip said "You can't claim to do a caving trip if only part of you does it. You'll have to follow that now." It was a thoroughly miserable experience, yet I went back for more. What does that tell you?

 

[cap n chris]

I wish I was 11 when I tried the Calf Holes Browngill trip. As a lardy butplug obviously it was a no-go. Mind you I've lost about 3 stone since then so perhaps I'll make the connection next time....

 

[potholer]

Well, if Anneka Rice can get her ample backside through the connection (albeit only just)...

 

[Peter Burgess]

I think I've mentioned this before, but my first 'ladder' was a length of dumped stock fence, lowered down an 8 ft shaft. :shock:

Can't remember how we secured it - probably wrapped it round a nearby tree-trunk.

 

[gus horsley]

I think I've mentioned this before, but my first 'ladder' was a length of dumped stock fence, lowered down an 8 ft shaft. :shock:

Can't remember how we secured it - probably wrapped it round a nearby tree-trunk.

At least it wasn't 800ft. You'd have needed a few fence posts and staples.

 

[darkplaces]

Sounds like a good idea actually, a fence with posts running down the side of a pitch, maybe at a slight angle forming a helix downward. Sitting on a tray ontop could form a fun slide to the bottom.

I know I am a whippersnapper at 32 but up in Cumbria peering down big shafts we did hit on the idea of a balanced pully system. So in Allenheads yard we looped some rope over two pullys to create two parrael bits of rope hanging down. Attached a large tractor tire to one, lobbed some stones in and attached Jagman to the other side. It kind of worked but not as we expected and I would dread to think what would happen if we actually tried it down a shaft.

 

[Dep]

Sounds like a good idea actually, a fence with posts running down the side of a pitch, maybe at a slight angle forming a helix downward. Sitting on a tray ontop could form a fun slide to the bottom.

I know I am a whippersnapper at 32 but up in Cumbria peering down big shafts we did hit on the idea of a balanced pully system. So in Allenheads yard we looped some rope over two pullys to create two parrael bits of rope hanging down. Attached a large tractor tire to one, lobbed some stones in and attached Jagman to the other side. It kind of worked but not as we expected and I would dread to think what would happen if we actually tried it down a shaft.

This puts me in mind of this:

Dear Sirs,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a caver and dig out old mines for a hobby. On the day of the accident, I was working alone at the top of a sixty foot shaft to pass spoil back down into the mine for storage. When I completed my work, I found that I had some spoil left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the rocks down by hand I decided to lower them in a kibble by using a pulley, which was attached to the scaffolding at the shafthead. Securing the rope at the bottom, I went up to the top, swung the kibble out and loaded the rocks into it.

Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the rocks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the shaft. Approximately half way up, I met the kibble, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the kibble full of rocks hit the ground and the bottom fell out. Now devoid of the weight of the rocks, that kibble weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the shaft.

In the vicinity of the midway point, I met the kibble coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the kibble seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of rocks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of rocks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty kibble begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your enquiry.

[/quote]

 

[emgee]

Sounds like a good idea actually, a fence with posts running down the side of a pitch, maybe at a slight angle forming a helix downward. Sitting on a tray ontop could form a fun slide to the bottom.

I know I am a whippersnapper at 32 but up in Cumbria peering down big shafts we did hit on the idea of a balanced pully system. So in Allenheads yard we looped some rope over two pullys to create two parrael bits of rope hanging down. Attached a large tractor tire to one, lobbed some stones in and attached Jagman to the other side. It kind of worked but not as we expected and I would dread to think what would happen if we actually tried it down a shaft.

This puts me in mind of this:

Dear Sirs,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a caver and dig out old mines for a hobby. On the day of the accident, I was working alone at the top of a sixty foot shaft to pass spoil back down into the mine for storage. When I completed my work, I found that I had some spoil left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the rocks down by hand I decided to lower them in a kibble by using a pulley, which was attached to the scaffolding at the shafthead. Securing the rope at the bottom, I went up to the top, swung the kibble out and loaded the rocks into it.

Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the rocks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the shaft. Approximately half way up, I met the kibble, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the kibble full of rocks hit the ground and the bottom fell out. Now devoid of the weight of the rocks, that kibble weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the shaft.

In the vicinity of the midway point, I met the kibble coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the kibble seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of rocks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of rocks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty kibble begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your enquiry.

[/quote]

To get full marks you need to post a URL to the original of this story

 

[gus horsley]

I used to get lifts up to the Dales from Bradford with a guy who had an early Reliant Robin which was totally unroadworthy. The passanger side had a two foot square hole in the floor which the seat had partially collapsed into and every time it rained the spray shot up into your nads. He also used to like driving on the wrong side of the road, especially on bends, and did the road up Chapel-le-Dale (which was a lot lumpier at the time) at the fastest speed possible, usually after too much to drink. I'm not going to mention his name, but if he's still around he knows who he is.

I can also remember doing a solo trip into Valley Entrance and managing to get my legs jammed in the oil drum in my exuberance to get in. I was there for several minutes with the top part of my body projecting, hoping nobody would see me.

I also had a pair of glasses fall off my nose and do the big pitch in Bar Pot. I went caving in contact lenses after that.

 

[susie]

To get full marks you need to post a URL to the original of this story

There are a number of variants on the web, one of which may be found at <a href="http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blbricks.htm" title="Click to see one variant of the Bricklayer's Urban Myth">http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blbricks.htm</a>

 

[Roger W]

Dep,

Is this why some landowners require cavers to have insurance?

 

[emgee]

To get full marks you need to post a URL to the original of this story

There are a number of variants on the web, one of which may be found at <a href="http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blbricks.htm" title="Click to see one variant of the Bricklayer's Urban Myth">http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blbricks.htm</a>

Indeed there are a large number but that wasn't the question I asked.

 

[Brains]

http://monologues.co.uk/004/Bricklayers_Story.htm

This is perhaps the nearest to an original you are likely to find, a monologue by Gerrard Hoffnung in a speech to the Oxford Union...

 

[Brains]

http://www.wrawby.org.uk/library/fun/hoffnung.html

A bit of personal detail and a link to an audio clip of the monologue