Hello Everybody

[Brains]

Mark, have you read the original post or just reacting to what you think it says?
Once again, forgiveness is NOT sought but tolerance is hoped for.
What do you think life is like with stuff like that and worse in your head?
I doubt you could cope as well as she is.
Of course you have the right to vent your anger but bear in mind it reflects on you as well as the target of your ire
Part of the long and painful road to recovery is to accept what you are, and have done, and build on the good bits - the bad can not be changed but must br accepted and dealt with.
Are you advocating a witch hunt till the end of her days, or just so she is out of your line of fire? Perhaps you just wish to see her locked away indefinetely being punished for being ill?
Bear in mind at least 25% of us will suffer from a mental illness at some time, some claim 50% Look at those around you that you care for - how will you react to their need - or they to yours?

 

[droid]

This is an open forum, not a support group.

Agreed

And while an open forum doesn't preclude support, it doesn't make it mandatory either.

Publishing posts like the original of this thread is risky for that reason, and if the poster is fragile IMHO it's unwise. Mark may well be voicing the opinions of others. Perhaps the best option is not to post.

 

[Roger W]

Droid, you're right - publishing that original post was a risky thing to do.  And Mark,  I can well understand how upset you were by what Ditzy did to her dogs.  I was too - upset and angry.  If I understand what she says in her OP correctly, Ditzy is too, now.  "Nobody can blame me more for what I did than myself," she said.

So what are we to do now?  Ostracise her for ever?  Never speak to her again?  Or show her a bit of compassion and help her rebuild her life?  Forgiveness doesn't mean pretending that the person in question never did anything wrong, or that whatever it was they did doesn't really matter any more.  It means accepting that he or she did do it - however terrible it was - but still being willing to extend a helping hand and offer a kind word.  And it means letting go of that toxic anger, which probably hurts us more than the one we are angry with.  It's not usually an easy thing to do,  but I believe it's the right thing to do.

And some of us have been concerned about you, Ditzy.  Didn't really know how to ask how you were getting on.  But it's good to hear from you again.  God bless you this Christmas - and everyone else on the forum, as well!

 

[Peter Burgess]

Spot on Roger. You took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[crickleymal]

Now what this forum needs is a like button

 

[badger]

Mark, have you read the original post or just reacting to what you think it says?
Once again, forgiveness is NOT sought but tolerance is hoped for.
What do you think life is like with stuff like that and worse in your head?
I doubt you could cope as well as she is.
Of course you have the right to vent your anger but bear in mind it reflects on you as well as the target of your ire
Part of the long and painful road to recovery is to accept what you are, and have done, and build on the good bits - the bad can not be changed but must br accepted and dealt with.
Are you advocating a witch hunt till the end of her days, or just so she is out of your line of fire? Perhaps you just wish to see her locked away indefinetely being punished for being ill?
Bear in mind at least 25% of us will suffer from a mental illness at some time, some claim 50% Look at those around you that you care for - how will you react to their need - or they to yours?

whilst many of cannot forgive dizy actions, we have to accept she was prosocuted and found guilty, and served her sentence (the length of sentence for any crime people can agree/disagree to its length). Her actions would seem to be done whilst having an illness, and if one has not had mental illness one cannot understand on its implications to rational thought,

Droid, you're right - publishing that original post was a risky thing to do.  And Mark,  I can well understand how upset you were by what Ditzy did to her dogs.  I was too - upset and angry.  If I understand what she says in her OP correctly, Ditzy is too, now.  "Nobody can blame me more for what I did than myself," she said.

So what are we to do now?  Ostracise her for ever?  Never speak to her again?  Or show her a bit of compassion and help her rebuild her life?  Forgiveness doesn't mean pretending that the person in question never did anything wrong, or that whatever it was they did doesn't really matter any more.  It means accepting that he or she did do it - however terrible it was - but still being willing to extend a helping hand and offer a kind word.  And it means letting go of that toxic anger, which probably hurts us more than the one we are angry with.  It's not usually an easy thing to do,  but I believe it's the right thing to do.

The road to any recovery is to accept what you have done and know it was wrong, this ditzy has appeared to do, For anything to move forward we have to accept wrong was done, that cant be undone, accept under law she served her sentence, otherwise how do we move forward from the past,

I not sure if the intial post from ditzy was the best thing to do, however ditzy obviously felt she needed too. She has accepted what she did, understands it was wrong. we now need to move on too, Not to forgive but accept that we will not understand why, but support her so she can recover from her illness

 

[kay]

I not sure if the initial post from ditzy was the best thing to do, however ditzy obviously felt she needed too.

What are the other options? Sneak back in quietly, hope no-one will notice her? Set up a new account under a new name ... and what happens when we realise who it is (as is bound to happen)? Give up caving for life - what's that going to do to aid recovery?

 

[droid]

The options included NOT visiting a potentially hostile arena.

Don't know about others on here, but I view UKCaving as an adjunct to my social/underground life, not a be-all/end-all.

 

[bograt]

The usual missive is "face your Demons", I think Ditzy has done this admirably by coming back to us, although, to balance the situation, I would like to know how the dogs welcomed her back into the household ?

 

[Brains]

The dogs were rehomed before the trial
She has a life ban on keeping animals, including staying where animals are kept, eg friends and family
While on licence ("parole") she is not allowed back to the home address due to the risk of relapse and malicious actions from the public.
The house is still fire damaged as the insurance declined the claim, and I am fixing it (very) slowly while living in it

 

[glyders]

To me, anything that raises awareness of depression and other mental health issues is a good thing in the grand scheme of things.
I have been affected by someone close to me having depression (since childhood) and it can be very hard to cope with for those around them. The initial gut reaction is to be upset/offended/aggrieved but in the end rational understanding and empathy win out.

 

[bograt]

The dogs were rehomed before the trial
She has a life ban on keeping animals, including staying where animals are kept, eg friends and family
While on licence ("parole") she is not allowed back to the home address due to the risk of relapse and malicious actions from the public.
The house is still fire damaged as the insurance declined the claim, and I am fixing it (very) slowly while living in it

FIRE ?? never knew owt about this!!.

 

[Smiley Alan]

http://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/Wolstanton-arsonist-Kim-Edmonds-jailed-accidental/story-16928819-detail/story.html

the bit at the end were the jugde says  " You have been diagnosed with a personality disorder and the risk of you re-offending is very high " would  be enogh  for me to not want to cave  with this person .  i would'nt be  able to relax but it looks  to me like shes got a lot of firneds here  who will go on trips  with her so it would'nt make much difrence i gess.

 

[ianball11]

Keep at it Brains