I would like to make a contribution to this thread.
First, and I am sorry if this sounds patronising, but have to say that Peter Hall talks just so much sense on every possible subject. I now look out for your posts Peter. Enough said on that.
I would now like to relate my own experience. Again apologies if it sounds daft, or heart on my sleeve or whatever.
2010 was the worst year of my life. I was quite ill in a way I didn't really want to go into detail, but I will.
I had appalling eczema all over my body. It was weeping body fluid to the extent that I was permanently dehydrated and had to (try, I had little strength) to make up a 'special' bed each night of old cotton sheets, quite thick, to soak up what came out of me. I could not stand still as it affected my legs, a degree of comfort was attainable by lying flat with my legs raised slightly. My neighbour commented that in July when the weather was warm I would sit on a wall in the garden and never move for hours at a time and he wandered if I was alive.
I had no strength to do anything, no one to help, I live on my own, the wife died of cancer in 1998, and yet I had to somehow attempt to wash clothes and keep myself clean.
I had to go out to get shopping, at Sainsbury's Cannock, and I do have to say that the staff there were extremely kind and helpful. I looked like something out of "The Exorcist"
I do have a soft spot for the ladies there who were so kind.
I came out of this period, more or less, I still have a bit of it on my head but its nothing, and felt optimistic, but when I resumed my outdoor activities found that I could not do very much due to problems with my legs.
This threw me into an acute depression where I could see everything coming to an end.
This is when it gets totally weird.
I was lying on my bed with my past life going through my brain. I thought of the successful digging up at Nenthead and other projects, all no more. I thought of the days long gone when i actually used to do karate. I was doing it from 1964 up until 1979 when the club I was at closed down.
I thought to myself "You will never see those days again"
Then something really odd, I heard a voice, not a real one, but it sought of came into my mind from somewhere outside it.
It said "It doesn't have to be like that"
I thought to myself, whats this!
that's what it was like
Then , something I will never understand, it was like a something exploded in my head, or maybe a shock, and at that point my life changed.
I got off the bed and tried a karate punch, it hut my arm, but it was just the start.
I went up the Nenthead a while after and my friends, mainly from SCMC, were all there. I was asked by one to try to explain myself by one. he said that he knew it was me, Roy, but I was a different person.
All I could think of to say, was to ask if I was still a nice person, because that was what really mattered.
After some Internet research I now know that what happened is called "Sudden personality change" It can be caused by a variety of things, drugs, alcohol abuse, illness or depression. So the last sits well with it. Its usually negative, but with me its positive, at least I think so.
In truth at 76 i can do some amazing things, its difficult to get a handle on some of it.
At the time of the 'change' I thought I had gone mad. But one thing about that 'voice' or whatever it was, it certainly didn't bloody lie.
The way I see things now, life is like a long corridor with rooms going off. The doors to some rooms are locked so I have to stay out, but others are open and I can enjoy whatever is in the room. As doors become locked, others will open, but I need to constantly be on the lookout for them as they can sometimes be missed.
Well there we are. This appears to be a honest thread so I have taken the bold step of telling all this. I doubt anyone will laugh at me, but if you must, please do it off forum.
