Author Topic: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.  (Read 1173094 times)

Online andys

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6225 on: January 08, 2019, 03:37:48 pm »
My little one was making no progress with his holiday packing, just sitting there on his still-empty hold baggage. When I tried to gee him along, his reply was "No problem" and that he was "on the case".
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Online Laurie

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6226 on: January 08, 2019, 06:35:43 pm »
My little one was making no progress with his holiday packing, just sitting there on his still-empty hold baggage. When I tried to gee him along, his reply was "No problem" and that he was "on the case".
Same Christmas cracker supplier as Tony from Suffolk?..........
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Online andys

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6227 on: January 08, 2019, 08:27:53 pm »
Yep. This last box had jokes that were just Suffolk 'n funny.  :smartass:
Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.

Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6228 on: January 10, 2019, 05:29:08 pm »
I was going to start breeding gun dogs and wondered whether anyone would be able to give me a few pointers.
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Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6229 on: January 10, 2019, 07:44:34 pm »
Golf ball-sized hailstones wouldn't be as destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller.
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Online Laurie

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6230 on: January 11, 2019, 11:23:50 am »
I'll get your coat Tony....
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Offline ZombieCake

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6231 on: January 13, 2019, 12:03:34 am »
My next door neighbour likes my heavy metal music so much that they threw a brick through the window so they could hear it better.

Online andys

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6232 on: January 13, 2019, 06:17:55 pm »
As a "grammar pedant", I hate it when people don't know the difference between ur and u'r!
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Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6233 on: January 15, 2019, 05:56:32 am »
“It’s a nice church Reverend.”
“It’s Norman.”
“It’s a nice church Norman.”
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Online Laurie

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6234 on: January 15, 2019, 11:43:29 am »
That was a big box of crackers.   :weep:
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Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6235 on: January 16, 2019, 07:52:53 am »
Turn a regular sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.
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Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6236 on: January 16, 2019, 01:48:40 pm »
"It's full of maggots!" screamed my wife.
"Well, you wanted a larva lamp," I said.
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Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6237 on: January 18, 2019, 08:19:05 pm »
The young couple who live next door have just made a pr0n film. Well, they don't know it yet...
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Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6238 on: Yesterday at 01:48:26 pm »
So technically, Moses was the first person to download data from the cloud to a tablet.
"Aim low, achieve your goals, avoid disappointment"