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Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.

Mrs Trellis

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 7 year old says "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to swear first, then you swear after me, OK?"
"Ok" the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.

"Oh, shit Mum, I s'pose I'll have some Coco Pops"

WHACK!! - He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice,:-

"And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

I don't know, Mum" he blubbers,"but it won't be fucking Coco Pops."
 
AndyF

AndyF

New member
Two eggs in a frying pan.

first one says "It's hot in here"

other one says "Holy crap, a talking egg!!"
 
M

Mr Fell

New member
It`s Friday tomorrow - with the prospect of beer and caves over the weekend - dont forget the Friday joke - rude or otherwise. I would oblige but have not been told any recently. That Wolfart has loads of gags - all non PC.
 
A

andymorgan

Guest
I came home the other night and the wife said

'have you seen my flip-flops?'

I said
'I've seen them before, now put your bra back on'
 
Slug

Slug

Member
Novice Nun: "Mother Superior, I've been told that there's a dozen cases of Syphylis in the vilage".

Mother Superior: " Thank God for that,,I'm getting Pissed off with this bloody Beaujolais".
 
M

Mr Fell

New member
Q What is the difference between Arthur Scargill and Michael Jackson?

A Arthur Scargill has not seen a miners helmet for years ! ?
 
Wolfart

Wolfart

New member
ANYONE GOT ANY TRAFALGER OR NELSON JOKES? JUST SO I CAN WIND UP THE WOODWORK TEACHER AT SCHOOL COS HE'S A STAUNCH PATRIOT AND WILL BE SPENDING THE NIGHT AT THE VICTORY INN AT HEREFORD
 
Brains

Brains

Well-known member
http://www.thehumorarchives.com/humor/0001076.html
Try him with this one, although it doesnt really sound like the Admiral to me...
 
Slug

Slug

Member
William Shakespear walks into a Pub and says, " Can I have a pint please",

The landlord says " No. You're Bard "
 
B

Billy Butcombe

New member
This bloke phones the council and says `Can I have a skip outside my house'. The guy on the other end says `Sure - you can dance skip hop anything' :p
 
B

Billy Butcombe

New member
Joke came from a student we have doing a placement :LOL: No caving came from the met office website :twisted: :evil: When I get myself into gear I can usually dredge up a good few jokes but not all are PC. :LOL:
 
M

Mr Fell

New member
Ah ha - Mr Butcome I presume - the co conspiritor in the disproportionate consumption of the cubic foot of Merlot no less! I can vouch for the shocking nature of your jokes - quite clean that one by your own standards ! :LOL:
 
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