I've had another idea, thanks to our hacksaw access officer. And that is Vespa. The slightly older ones have 10 or 11 inch wheels (new ones have 12" wheels so not so good). Therefore, you could combine people like me without beards and oily jeans with straightforward two wheeled automatic twist and go access to get places. You'd look superbly cool and inoffensive going about your business...
The business is that you could rig up 12 inch angle grinder discs on the drive wheel to ease those 'stubborn' locks / concretey stuff that gets in the way. Win - win. Just need a few spanners.
(For any snowflakes watching spanners are a concept that involves actual work and not staring at rubbish social media all day. Google 'work', and then see your therapist.)
Even better one could infiltrate Mod rallies and implant Saxon or Sisters of Mercy.... what Joy (division).