The Black Dog - mental health awareness

SamT

Moderator
Thought this worth of its own thread (spinoff from the Blue Monday Thread).

The/My Black Dog?

"My biggest fear was being found out"

"He used to wake me up with repetitive and negative thinking and remind me about how tired I would be the next day"

"Activities that previously brought me pleasure suddenly ceased to" But I'm on the road to recovery.

It doesn't matter who you are, if you're in difficulty don't be afraid to ask for help, there's no shame in doing so, the only shame is missing out on life.

I had a black dog, his name was depression

At its worst, depression can be a frightening, debilitating condition. Millions of people around the world live with depression. Many of these individuals and their families are afraid to talk about their struggles, and don't know where to turn for help. However, depression is largely preventable and treatable. Recognizing depression and seeking help is the first and most critical towards recovery. In collaboration with WHO to mark

World Mental Health Day, writer and illustrator Matthew Johnstone tells the story of overcoming the "black dog of depression". For more information on World Mental Health Day, please visit: www.who.int
 

SamT

Moderator
I've had my struggles of the years.  Luckily mild enough that just going to the GP and talking about it was enough to turn a downward spiral into an upward one.  Been relatively good the last few years.  I only occasionally hear the black dog barking off in the distance.

I also know too many people who've taken their own life.

Please, as I said on the other thread, if you're struggling, then please please please talk to someone about it.

Also - look out for those around you how you think might be struggling.  Especially now.  One good idea is to to just choose 5 people from your contacts, and just give them a call, find out how their doing. 
 

Pegasus

Administrator
Staff member
SamT said:
Also - look out for those around you how you think might be struggling.  Especially now.  One good idea is to to just choose 5 people from your contacts, and just give them a call, find out how their doing.

Well said, Sam  :hug:
 

Slug

Member
Sadly Sam, My experience of seeking help has been pretty much the opposite of what you're saying. I was 19 and in the military when I first started getting visited by "the Dog".....I sought medical help and was effectively given the verbal equivalent of a slap in the face and Pull Yourself Together rant.....I was told to "deal with it"....so I did, first with drink, then drugs and then other more self destructive behavior, until I was Jailed and dismissed...I was in Colchester with so many veterans of N.I. and the Falklands, it was more like Broardmoor !

Over the last 40 years it has effectively ruined my life.....despite their BS, most employers don't want "Nutters".  I was forced out of my last job because my health issues.....despite their own policies. No amount of Regulations or Laws did any good whatsoever. Never have done, doubt they ever will......maybe it's different if you don't work in Overalls.
Maybe for others it might be a different experience......they can but hope.
 

Roger W

Well-known member
Really sorry to hear that, Slug.  Unfortunately the "pull yourself together" attitude is still widespread and not helpful at all.  Deepest sympathy - though I don't know if it will help any.
 

SamT

Moderator
Slug said:
Sadly Sam, My experience of seeking help has been pretty much the opposite of what you're saying. I was 19 and in the military when I first started getting visited by "the Dog".....I sought medical help and was effectively given the verbal equivalent of a slap in the face and Pull Yourself Together rant.....I was told to "deal with it"....so I did, first with drink, then drugs and then other more self destructive behavior, until I was Jailed and dismissed...I was in Colchester with so many veterans of N.I. and the Falklands, it was more like Broardmoor !

Over the last 40 years it has effectively ruined my life.....despite their BS, most employers don't want "Nutters".  I was forced out of my last job because my health issues.....despite their own policies. No amount of Regulations or Laws did any good whatsoever. Never have done, doubt they ever will......maybe it's different if you don't work in Overalls.
Maybe for others it might be a different experience......they can but hope.

That's shit, and sorry to hear that.  I can imagine the military being like that.  Not the best place for sympathy, though I'd like to think they were way more on top of things like PTSD these days.
Times have moved on a bit (that that I'm calling you old  ;) ) but I suspect a 19 year old presenting these days might get a different experience.  There is far more awareness around mental health issues, particularly in men these days.  Principally in response to the appalling suicide rate.

Hope you continue to manage things.  Its never too late to seek help and with new treatments/understanding etc you might just drop on something that helps.  I've heard other say that it can take a long time and trying lots of different things before dropping on the thing that works for you.

 

mrodoc

Well-known member
Slug, you have a lot to offer. I really like the model dig I bought off you. I am sure others would like versions of that.
 

Slug

Member
Thanks Pete.....but at the moment I'm on 60mg of Fluoxetine a day, and have been for the last 10 years, I'm only a few steps up the evolutionary ladder than a vegetable. Zero motivation.
One of the reasons I used to do the catering at CHECC and a few times for the BCA was it gave me something to do, you know, divert the boredom, and have some people....OK mostly students....believe I knew what I was doing.

Sam, in a month's time I'll be 59, that is old  :eek: not to some I'm sure, but after decades as a "techie", spent grovelling around on my hands and  knees under Aeroplanes, Vehicles and other machinery.......not to mention caves, my body is buggered......stil Aldi do a very nice Australian Red at ?3:99 a bottle, so there's always that. :beer:
 

nickwilliams

Well-known member
In no way do I wish to diminish Slug's experience, but mine (much more recently) was different.

For people who think in bullet points like me, this is what I learned:

- Talking to someone (anyone) helps.

- You will be surprised how many other people you know have also suffered.

- Help is out there, and it works.

- Pills work for some people, not for others. Different pills work for different people.

- Some people will tell you that fresh air and exercise is a cure. It isn?t, but it does help.

- Getting better takes time, and there will be bad days as well as good days.

- Don?t ignore the possibility that there may be something wrong with you physically as well as mentally.  In my case, feeling crap most of the time due to undiagnosed Parkinson?s Disease was a significant factor in my mental health.
 

PeteHall

Moderator
I've always considered myself fairly resilient from a mental health perspective, perhaps because I always keep myself busy, so don't have time to let my mind dwell too long on anything.

When the first lockdown cut off all access to everything and everyone, I slumped to a pretty low place. Motivation for anything was non-existent. I was hardly sleeping and on a steady downhill spiral.

When travel restrictions for exercise were lifted, I got together with a few friends and we started a few simple underground projects on an evening after work. I felt immediately revived, yet there were always those determined to tell me I was being selfish and irresponsible for going caving; fortunately, I managed to ignore them.

While my motivation never quite recovered to pre-lockdown levels, I have generally been much better for getting out for an evening once or twice a week, either alone, or with one or two others. In fact the best I've felt for ages was after a Swildon's trip shortly before Christmas when I was offered a beer afterwards, by someone staying at the hut. I'd quite forgotten the simple pleasure of sitting by a fire, beer in hand, chatting caving for an hour before heading home.

This latest lockdown has rewound all that though, with threats of police clamping down and handing out fines when no law has been broken, I've not bothered to leave the house. Based on the interpretation by some members of this forum, I shouldn't leave my village, let alone cross the administrative boundary that lies 200 yards from my door, between me and the hills. Sorry, but while you might subscribe to the 'man up and deal with it' approach, I will be escaping these confines to protect my mental health as soon as I find the motivation.
 

ditzy 24//7

Active member
The stigma on mental health is wrong, most just don't want to admit if they need help because of the stigma of what it means. only advise i can give is don't be afraid or ashamed, if you need help then get it. sometimes pills help but not always. if your struggling then try going for a walk, the fresh air helps me. some people need talking therapies. i have done DBT and it has helped me a lot, i would highly recommend it. mindfulness is also good.
 

mrodoc

Well-known member
Sorry to hear about your problems Nick.  As I neared the end of my days in practice Parkinson's seem to be getting increasingly common and we have at least two friends who have it #(one attributes to cleaning agents used in his old job for IBM as a colleague also developed it).  Exercise is beneficial for a lot of complaints and certainly I suspect it has kept my tendency to depression at bay over the years. You are right about medication - it can be very specific for some individuals as I learnt during my career. Sometimes it was an effort to persuade people they were depressed.
 

JoshW

Well-known member
about 8/9 years ago, I was struggling for motivation, struggling to form and maintain friendships etc and just generally struggling. I'd not really realised I was feeling 'down' at all, but just noticed the end effects of it. Someone brought in a copy of the black dog book to work, and left it on the side in the kitchen. I read it and it instantly resonated with me, and everything fell into place.

I spent the next few years not really dealing with it (or other issues going on in my life) and ended up being in some dark places (not just underground).

I've never really been one for opening up, but do have a select few people that I feel I can and so do, and I urge anyone who feels the same to do so. Let your friends know you're there, rely on your friends if you need them.

Over the last 5/6 years or so I've managed to work out my 'triggers' and spot the early signs that things are spiralling downwards and so know what to do to regain control.
 

mrodoc

Well-known member
Apparently Matt Haig the writer has written a helpful book. I have certainly enjoyed his fiction eg The Midnight Library and The Humans.
 

Blueberry

Member
I had a psychotic breakdown during finals at University. Ended up in  a Psychiatric ward. I eventually was discharged, and was on medication for 25 years. I worked as a teacher in mainstream. Eventually ended up working in CAMHS for 10years. I never told anyone about my history. But I do know that talking about what is going on your head is important. No one is a mind reader, you have to pardon the expression ?dump you head? to someone who will listen, and  not pass comment or judge.
I did actually tell the kids when I was leaving, it?s a journey and it does end. I am now 57. Keep well, keep breathing. I know my story is not about depression. It just helps to tell it.
 

David Rose

Active member
I know several people whose mental health has really suffered over the period of the current pandemic. I hope that as a caving community, we can reach out and offer support, and the honesty of people expressing themselves here is a very positive step. I suspect not so long ago cavers would not have been as honest and forthcoming about their bad times. It's good that the stigma there once was is dissipating, and that people feel able to write about what they've gone through here.
 

Hunter

Member
From my personal experience, part of the problem is made up of a combination of      A) recognising you have a problem and B) acceptance that you?re not indestructible.
My situation came to a head when I visited my GP about a separate issue and as I wasn?t sleeping very well thought while I?m here I?ll ask for something to help me sleep.
The resulting conversation ended with me balling my eyes out in the Dr?s surgery and being told I was off work (which was the root of my problems) for at least a month which ended up being six weeks.
That?s where the recognition and acceptance bit should have come in as I went back way too early although I managed to cope with it.
What I did find though is that as Slug mentioned, it doesn?t seem to matter what policies are in place, there are some people who are sympathetic while others view it as a weakness and think you?re trying to pull a fast one.
In hindsight I think I knew I was struggling but the English stiff upper lip wouldn?t let me admit it.
Fortunately I didn?t need medication and I?ve learnt to recognise the signs over time and am able to deal with them in my own way.
There is also a flip side to this where a close family member suffers but you don?t.
I?ve got that issue as well and that presents its own problems.
Walking on eggshells so as not to cause upset, dealing with the ?unreasonable? behaviour which is out of character and the isolation when they just want to be alone.
In my experience, when one partner has symptoms, two people suffer.
It?s a horrible illness widely misunderstood.



 

ditzy 24//7

Active member
Blueberry said:
I had a psychotic breakdown during finals at University. Ended up in  a Psychiatric ward.

iv suffered from mental health problems, im not afraid to say so either. i spent 5 years on a psychiatric ward. i was very unwell but im on the right medication, did the right course (DBT) and now im home and happy. i know it was a long time and hard going but iv come out the other side stronger than ever. I will be forever thankful for the help i was given. if anyone is struggling, particularly in these dark times of the pandemic dont be afraid to reach out.
 

Duncan Price

Active member
I have experienced mental health issues - I even attempted suicide.  Because of the stigma attached to it I've become good at hiding it.  My mood tends to go up and down from one extreme to another - sometimes there are obvious triggers, other times not.  When I'm up I get lots done, and when I'm down I try to roll with it knowing that I'll recover given time. Having done a Mental Health First Aider course for work I would say that Nick's bullet points are most comprehensive.  A point to remember is that we all have a mental health and everyone can have problems with it.

The late "Fish" Jeanmaire and I had many long chats about mental health and cave diving - he tried to encourage me to write something for the CDG Newsletter but I've always felt uneasy about "coming out" to the general caving community.  Fish passed away in 2015 so this post is a bit overdue - it took a long time to write given its brevity.



 
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