Brexit...

[ChrisJC]

I?m not entirely sure downplaying verbal abuse is really helping show your empathetic side, chris.

The thing is if you?re being verbally abused/threatened because of who you are and you know people being battered because of shared characteristics, I think it?s more than fair that the verbal abuse would make you feel unsafe.

Downplaying people?s safety as school yard stuff really doesn?t help. There was a spectacularly good thread on here the other day about suicide and mental health, which is entirely at odds with what you?re saying.

Well, having been on the receiving end of a fair bit of stick during my time at school, I am quite clear on what it means. When you are the only kid without a TV, so you cannot relate to sport, comedy, fashion or any part of 'popular culture', but you are smart so you manage to do well in class, you can be sure it's a pretty lonely existence.

But I find it unfathomable how somebody would be regularly subjected to it as an adult. Where do you go and what do you do to receive it? If you are trapped in some sort of unfortunate domestic situation, then fair enough, but 'out', or at work? Please explain more.

Chris.


Chris.

 

[royfellows]

Some thoughts

I walk about in bare feet and sandals, and do get comments. "Cant you afford socks" and the like.
I just smile politely.
I do not offer explanation in that it is a gesture of humility in that I am a Buddhist.

To do so would cause the speaker embarrassment and invoke profuse apology and possible politically correct virtue signalling.

A person may practice karate for some years and get black belt.
Talking to a Japanese they might boast about this.
The Japanese will exclaim "Ahh, Black belt. That is very good"
What they wont tell you is that they have been doing it for 30 years because to say so would put you down.

If one belongs to a minority, it is easy to weaponise it without realising one is doing so.
Just as someone may cause offence to a minority without realising they are doing so.

There is a definite social advantage in being thick skinned.
The way that society is going, there may well yet be social advantage in being good at karate.

 

[andrewmcleod]

But I find it unfathomable how somebody would be regularly subjected to it as an adult. Where do you go and what do you do to receive it? If you are trapped in some sort of unfortunate domestic situation, then fair enough, but 'out', or at work? Please explain more.

Be the 'wrong' colour.
Be a woman.
Have the 'wrong' sexual orientation.
Believe in the 'wrong' religion.
Have the 'wrong' gender.
Be poor.

Use your imagination...

random stats:
over 50% of women have experienced sexual harassment at work
https://www.safeline.org.uk/sexual-harassment-in-the-workplace-is-found-to-affect-over-half-of-uk-women/

18% of British people believe ?some races or ethnic groups are born less intelligent than others?, and 44% believe ?some races or ethnic groups are born harder working than others?
Applying for a job or a home with the 'wrong' name will cost you (40% fewer applications accepted for jobs, 20% fewer applications for housing)
https://theconversation.com/how-racist-is-britain-today-what-the-evidence-tells-us-141657

There were 18,465 reported homophobic hate crimes in a year in 2019-2020, and 80% of LGBT+ victims of hate crime don't report it.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-54470077

80% of transgender people experienced a transphobic hate crime in the last 12 months, including physical violence or the threat of physical violence in 25% of cases and/or the sexual assault or the threat of sexual assault in 20% of cases.
http://www.galop.org.uk/transphobic-hate-crime-report-2020/

80% of Muslims believe they have experienced Islamophobia. An estimated 40-60% of mosques have suffered vandalism or arson (can you imagine similar statistics for Church of England churches?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamophobia_in_the_United_Kingdom
There has also been a rise in anti-semitism.

Life isn't necessarily easy if you are white, male and heterosexual - but other people don't put roadblocks in your way anywhere near as much. I'm 'lucky' in that I tick all the right boxes (white, male, heterosexual) so none of these things happen to me or are even visible to me in my everyday existence. If women didn't speak out about sexism, or gay people speak out about homophobia, I'm honestly not even sure I'd know these things exist. But once you start digging, it's horrific.

 

[royfellows]

Andrew, you are the wrong sex - to a feminist.

 

[Ed]

I?m not entirely sure downplaying verbal abuse is really helping show your empathetic side, chris.

The thing is if you?re being verbally abused/threatened because of who you are and you know people being battered because of shared characteristics, I think it?s more than fair that the verbal abuse would make you feel unsafe.

Downplaying people?s safety as school yard stuff really doesn?t help. There was a spectacularly good thread on here the other day about suicide and mental health, which is entirely at odds with what you?re saying.

Well, having been on the receiving end of a fair bit of stick during my time at school, I am quite clear on what it means. When you are the only kid without a TV, so you cannot relate to sport, comedy, fashion or any part of 'popular culture', but you are smart so you manage to do well in class, you can be sure it's a pretty lonely existence.

But I find it unfathomable how somebody would be regularly subjected to it as an adult. Where do you go and what do you do to receive it? If you are trapped in some sort of unfortunate domestic situation, then fair enough, but 'out', or at work? Please explain more.

Chris.


Chris.

Simple

don't be affluent a blinkered white, middle aged, middle class  man living in a comfortable rural bubble, that avoids spending time on the ground in less salubrious locations

 

[Ed]

Andrew, you are the wrong sex - to a feminist.

You're confusing myandry for feminism

 

[andrewmcleod]

Andrew, you are the wrong sex - to a feminist.

Tricky, as I am one.

(as anyone who's been to a BEC party can probably attest, I'm not the most stereotypically 'manly' of men and don't care...)

 

[royfellows]

I tend to go with a lot of what is being said.

Most of us are "something"
but some "somethings" get it worse than others.

 

[sinker]

?..white, male and heterosexual - but other people don't put roadblocks in your way anywhere near as much.

Don't believe it....I'm all three of the above and I'm increasingly in the minority.
I don't have ANY protected characteristics.

 

[tomferry]

They all like a reason to moan and make them selves feel like they get picked on I complete disagree , I have rang up for jobs in the past and they say we don?t employee your sort here because they are all Polish or Romanian but do you here us moaning no because we just get on with it.

 

[JoshW]

?..white, male and heterosexual - but other people don't put roadblocks in your way anywhere near as much.

Don't believe it....I'm all three of the above and I'm increasingly in the minority.
I don't have ANY protected characteristics.

The fact that none of your characteristics are a disadvantage to you is a positive thing. You?re still nowhere near being a minority, stop lying.

 

[JoshW]

They all like a reason to moan and make them selves feel like they get picked on I complete disagree , I have rang up for jobs in the past and they say we don?t employee your sort here because they are all Polish or Romanian but do you here us moaning no because we just get on with it.

Things that didn?t happen... alternatively that potential employer realised the polish and Romanian chaps? written English was better..

 

[tomferry]

I couldn?t care less if they did write English better wouldn?t bother me , it?s simple really they always have something to moan about and we do not ? Even though terrible things happen to us all ? Do they believe are lives are perfect because they ent 

 

[JoshW]

I couldn?t care less if they did write English better wouldn?t bother me , it?s simple really they always have something to moan about and we do not ? Even though terrible things happen to us all ? Do they believe are lives are perfect because they ent 

Nobodies life is perfect, but there are people out there being directly (and indirectly) discriminated against because of particular characteristics, I don?t think belittling these issues as ?moaning? and saying they should ?just get on with it? is really showing you?ve got any real understanding of the issues at play.

 

[sinker]

?..alternatively that potential employer realised the polish and Romanian chaps? written English was better....

Generalising is one thing but that's a bit personal and below the belt that one....

 

[tomferry]

Exactly my point it was over a phone call so the point is they didn?t no anything about me via I was English so they need to stop complaining and get  :spank:

 

[JoshW]

?..alternatively that potential employer realised the polish and Romanian chaps? written English was better....

Generalising is one thing but that's a bit personal and below the belt that one....

Maybe I was testing the water to see if he?d ?just get on with it?

 

[JoshW]

Exactly my point it was over a phone call so the point is they didn?t no anything about me via I was English so they need to stop complaining and get  :spank:

I have no idea the point you?re trying to make?

 

[sinker]

?..white, male and heterosexual - but other people don't put roadblocks in your way anywhere near as much.

Don't believe it....I'm all three of the above and I'm increasingly in the minority.
I don't have ANY protected characteristics.

The fact that none of your characteristics are a disadvantage to you is a positive thing. You?re still nowhere near being a minority, stop lying.

OK so I was exaggerating, not lying. But I certainly AM in the minority in some circumstances.
But then isn't everyone? Don't we just get on with it? Take the rough with the smooth?

Being white, male, heterosexual can be a disadvantage in many places. This forum for example.

 

[Ed]

Exactly my point it was over a phone call so the point is they didn?t no anything about me via I was English so they need to stop complaining and get  :spank:

I have no idea the point you?re trying to make?

I was wondering what he was meant to be saying as well....