Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.

[Mrs Trellis]

My Grandad kept telling them the Titanic would sink..........
........until they threw him out of the cinema.

 

[TheBitterEnd]

Gemma Pell, imagine the trouble she has trying to introduce herself in France.

 

[Fulk]

Je suis Gemma Pell, il ny'a pas problème.

 

[oldfart]

Dogs are not all that bright. None of them can run a medical scanner, but
cats can.

 

[Brains]

Dogs are not all that bright. None of them can run a medical scanner, but
cats can.

True but you need a retriever to do the lab work and write the lab reports...

 

[TheBitterEnd]

Seems appropriate for some cavers too

 

[Oceanrower]

 

[cavemanmike]

Why did the transgender man only eat salad.






Because he was a her before 🤦🏻🤦‍♂️🤦🏻🤦‍♂️

 

[TheBitterEnd]

On the plus side the Wales 20mph speed limit makes it easier to drive while using the phone

 

[RobinGriffiths]

...whilst towing a jetski...

 

[GarDouth]

Clive: "Lets form a band."
Ursula: "How will we choose our name?"
Nigel: "We could do what Abba did."
Tracey: "Bad idea."

 

[andys]

I've just had to have a rectal examination at the doctors. I was dreading it, but he gave me the thumbs up.

 

[Tim Pickering]

Apologies if this has already been featured before (I can't be the only one with an eye for such things?) but the contracted intro on the UK Caving Facebook page gave me a chuckle:

Intro​

The Facebook page of UK Caving, the cavers' forum - Join the debate, ask a question or share your ex

 

[TheBitterEnd]

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Marxists drink only herbal or fruit teas..................
.........because they think proper tea is theft.

 

[BikinGlynn]

On the plus side the Wales 20mph speed limit makes it easier to drive while using the phone

i was thinking exactly that driving round tehre at weekend! it just makes u want to find something to do to relieve the boredom!

 

[Graigwen]

Marxists drink only herbal or fruit teas..................
.........because they think proper tea is theft.

A pedant corrects:

Anarchists drink only herbal or fruit teas..................
.........because they think proper tea is theft.

The quote "Property is theft" is by the anarchist Pierre-Joseph Proudhon.

The statement "Property is theft was criticized by Karl Marx (a middle class man with a family servant) saying in his usual turgid way "But in spite of all his apparent iconoclasm one already finds in Qu’est-ce que la propriété’? the contradiction that Proudhon is criticising society, on the one hand, from the standpoint and with the eyes of a French small-holding peasant ... and, on the other, that he measures it with the standards he inherited from the socialists....The question is so badly formulated that it cannot be answered correctly. Ancient “property relations” were superseded by feudal property relations and these by “bourgeois” property relations. Thus history itself had expressed its criticism upon past property relations. What Proudhon was actually dealing with was modern bourgeois property as it exists today. The question of what this is could have only been answered by a critical analysis of “political economy,” embracing the totality of these property relations, considering not their legal aspect as relations of volition but their real form, that is, as relations of production.
.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Re-arrange this well known phrase or saying:- off f***

 

[ZombieCake]

i was thinking exactly that driving round tehre at weekend! it just makes u want to find something to do to relieve the boredom!

If you tool a passenger who can drive you could take it in turns: One person driving and the other walking in front of the car carrying the requisite red flag, and swapping over when one or the other gets bored.

 

[Mrs Trellis]