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Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
- Thread starter Mrs Trellis
- Start date
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
A man goes to confession after a long absence.
He sits in the booth, looks around & says to the Priest,
''The confessional has really changed father.
I don't remember Guinness on tap and gay porn mags in the booths."
The Priest said, "That's because you're in my fuckin seat!''
He sits in the booth, looks around & says to the Priest,
''The confessional has really changed father.
I don't remember Guinness on tap and gay porn mags in the booths."
The Priest said, "That's because you're in my fuckin seat!''
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
I went to the doctors with hearing problems.
He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, "Homer's a fat bloke and Marge has big blue hair!"
He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, "Homer's a fat bloke and Marge has big blue hair!"
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
Sad news. The man who devised the M&S food ads has died.
He will be cremated tomorrow in an applewood and mesquite fire with blistered marshmallows and charred Madagascan vanilla pods.
He will be cremated tomorrow in an applewood and mesquite fire with blistered marshmallows and charred Madagascan vanilla pods.
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
I went dogging with the wife last night.
Never again…
By the time she'd finished parking the car everyone had fucked off!
Never again…
By the time she'd finished parking the car everyone had fucked off!
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
Apparently, not many men know how to turn on a dishwasher...
Personally I always find that licking her nipples does the trick!
Personally I always find that licking her nipples does the trick!
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
America sure is having some bad luck.
It's almost as if it's built over an ancient Indian burial ground.
It's almost as if it's built over an ancient Indian burial ground.
pwhole
Well-known member
Ten for the price of one:
https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2...0-best-jokes-from-the-edinburgh-festival-2023
https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2...0-best-jokes-from-the-edinburgh-festival-2023
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
I saw a man carrying a door handle today and asked him why....
"It gets me out of the house," he said.
"It gets me out of the house," he said.
hoehlenforscher
Active member
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
I've never understood men who pay Dominatrixes to abuse them…
Just get married and fold the towels wrong!
Just get married and fold the towels wrong!
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
I found my wife's G-spot at last ............
her sister had it.
her sister had it.
Oceanrower
Active member
The worst thing about being bitten by a poisonous spider is you have a 90% chance of being Australian…
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
A little boy was walking on the road eating a chocolate.
A man came over and said, "Son, eating chocolates is bad for your health."
The boy replied, "Do you know, my Grandpa lived to be 105 years old."
"By eating chocolates?" the man asked.
"No, by minding his own business!"
A man came over and said, "Son, eating chocolates is bad for your health."
The boy replied, "Do you know, my Grandpa lived to be 105 years old."
"By eating chocolates?" the man asked.
"No, by minding his own business!"
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
I was in a bar when a waitress shouted "ANYONE KNOW CPR?"
I said "Yes - I know the whole alphabet!"
Everyone laughed, except this one bloke
I said "Yes - I know the whole alphabet!"
Everyone laughed, except this one bloke
