Author Topic: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.  (Read 1226618 times)

Offline Tricky Dicky

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6525 on: October 04, 2019, 01:43:24 pm »
What's brown and sticky - and plays the trumpet??




Gluey Armstrong  ;D ;D ;D

Offline Tricky Dicky

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6526 on: October 04, 2019, 02:10:41 pm »
I noticed there is a competition for 'World's best sexual contortionist', so I've entered myself.

I was going to enter, but didn't get round to it............

Offline TheBitterEnd

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6527 on: October 04, 2019, 07:48:40 pm »
What if the Hokey-Cokey is what it's all about?
'Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.' — Mark Twain

Offline Tricky Dicky

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6528 on: October 07, 2019, 02:54:02 pm »


I’ve had such a bad morning.

First I got into fight with a guy dressed as Shakespeare, then I almost choked on a German sausage.

It’s gone from bard to wurst…

Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6529 on: October 08, 2019, 07:25:04 pm »
"Spot!" I said. "Here boy! Come on. Come to daddy. Here boy!" I patted my legs, waved a stick, made a panting noise. Nothing. He didn't move a muscle.

Honestly, goldfish are so stupid.
"Aim low, achieve your goals, avoid disappointment"

Offline Laurie

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6530 on: October 09, 2019, 12:06:17 am »
The last thing my grandfather said before he died was " Pints, litres, gallons".
That spoke volumes.
MNRC

Offline Roger W

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6531 on: October 09, 2019, 09:37:59 am »
That reminds me of one that's probably been on here before:

"I really should have listened to the advice my old grandpa gave me."

"Why - what advice did he give you?"

"I don't know - I didn't listen."
"That, of course, is the dangerous part about caves:  you don't know how far they go back, sometimes... or what is waiting for you inside."   JRR Tolkein: "The Hobbit"

Offline bograt

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6532 on: October 10, 2019, 09:40:37 am »
Sewage worker tripped up - fell between two stools---
Aim low, achieve your goals, avoid disappointment

Offline Fulk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6533 on: October 10, 2019, 12:18:30 pm »
If he couldn't swim, he probably went through the motions.

Online Alex

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6534 on: October 10, 2019, 12:21:27 pm »
One could say he was up shit creek without a paddle.
Anything I say is represents my own opinion and not that of a any club/organisation that I am a member of (unless its good of course)

Offline Maj

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6535 on: October 10, 2019, 05:27:18 pm »
I bet there was a lot of paperwork!


Maj.
Confucius say "War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left."

Offline crickleymal

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6536 on: October 11, 2019, 11:54:50 am »
As I sat there this morning drinking coffee in my slippers.
I thought "I really must wash some cups".
Malc
Rusted and ropy, dog-eared old copy.
Vintage and classic or just plain Jurassic:
all words to describe me.