Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.

[andys]

My mate has just asked me where his glans is. Dick head.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

 

[Long Drop]

There should be another red arrow pointing at the pavement. (Perhaps that's in a slightly more advanced pack though.)

 

[wellyjen]

Advanced level.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Will the person who stole my shoes on the bouncy castle grow up?

 

[Mrs Trellis]

"Give it to me!" she said.
"I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now!"
"f*** off!" I said. "Get your own umbrella!"

 

[GarDouth]

I’m reading a novel about an immortal dog. I can’t put it down.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

It doesn't matter if you're straight, gay or bisexual… at the end of the day....................... it's night!

 

[Mrs Trellis]

I’ve just installed an electric fence around my garden, however my neighbour was not very happy about, in fact he’s dead against!!!

 

[cavingbiker]

I’ve just installed an electric fence around my garden, however my neighbour was not very happy about, in fact he’s dead against!!!

I'd have thought he would just be shocked by your action.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Yes - he was on fire about it.

 

[rm128]

Yes - he was on fire about it.

Fuming?

 

[Long Drop]

I thought you and your neighbour were getting on very well together. It was like electricity between you...

 

[Mrs Trellis]

He was so shocked smoke came out of his ears.

 

[ChrisB]

You'll be getting a visit from the police, don't know what they'll charge you with, it sound like some kind of a fence. I hope it was powered from the mains or they'll do you for battery.

 

[GarDouth]

Everyone laughed when I said that I wanted to become a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now.

 

[Ian Ball]

Everyone laughed when I said that I wanted to become a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now.

One of Bob's best

 

[andys]

I had a dream last night that I was fighting an erection. Luckily, I was able to beat it off single handedly.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

 

[hyweldavies]

One of Bob's best

Bob's other great one was "I hope to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandad ... not screaming in terror like his passengers"