I've set up the Cornwall Underground Council Ltd and as from today all access to caves and mines must go through me. No-one is permitted to do anything without permission from me, or one of my authorised delegates. CUC has undertaken extensive liason with landowners and the Duchy and has now assumed responsibility for all sporting underground activities in the area.
If you are from outside of the county, you must first demonstrate your allegiance to CUC and it's principles by having a Kernow flag tattooed on your buttock. You could have this done so the flag is split between both buttocks, but usual protocol is using just the one. We have had our first extraordinary meeting where officers were deemed by the grand director of ceremonies (myself) to be representative of this new governing body. Our insurance is parallel to the BCA system but could be considered to replace it, as BCA is no longer recognised by landowners or the Duchy, due to the new revised remit of CUC and it's officers. It follows that members of the DCUC are no longer actually allowed to set foot in Cornwall, without written permission from CUC or it's access officer.
We have liased with the county council and the European Union and we are shortly to begin a gating program with access codes. Using your CUC integrated passcard, you will be able to gain limited access to certain mines, which will only be allowed once they have been ordered into a graded system of sporting/historical rigour, this is for your own good as CUC take full responsibility for it's card holding members.
Membership is controlled strictly by the committee and applications may be sought by writing to.
James Trevithick,
Cornwall Underground Council,
Room C1 West,
County Hall,
Truro,
Cornwall.
TR1 3AY.
May I remind you that all underground access in Cornwall, including previous private arrangements are now null and void and it is now illegal to go underground in Cornwall.
Thankyou and happy hole going (but not in Cornwall)
J. Trevithick.