• Hello From Descent

    The publication date for issue 289 is the 10th of December, meaning subscribers should receive their copies during the week leading up to that date. It is also available from caving suppliers such as Inglesport and Starless River, or from our new website

    New Descent board here:

Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
After £1 million worth of sex toys are stolen from a lorry in Kettering,
police say the suspects may be sitting on the evidence
and it's unlikely they'll come quietly!
 

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
I'm not sure what shocked the postman more...
The fact that I knew where he lived or that I came to the door completely naked.
 

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
A woman came up to me in the gym and asked if I knew which exercises would help her lose weight.
I said, "Try shaking your head from side to side."
She replied, "How often should I do that?"
I remarked, "Every time someone offers you food!"
 

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
A man shouts to his wife, "Come here and look at my clock."
She walks in to find him naked with a hard on.
She says, "That's not a clock!"
He says, "It will be when you put two hands and a face on it!"
 

Brains

Well-known member
Following the change from the late Queen to the new King, a childrens TV company has decided to commission an updated version "The Queens Nose" where a magic 50 pence coin worked by rubbing that bit of the embossed portrait. The new series will be called "The Kings Ear"
 
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Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
Man walks into a bar with a pork pie sellotaped to his head
Barman: "Excuse me, why have you got a pork pie sellotaped to your head?"
Man: "I do this every Tuesday!"
Barman: "But it's Thursday today!"
Man: "Oh I must look a right twat!"
 

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
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