Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.

[Mrs Trellis]

On Saturday my friend underwent a painful procedure to have his spine and both testicles removed…
He got some great wedding presents though

 

[TheBitterEnd]

 

[Mrs Trellis]

They can absolutely f*** off if they think I'm putting my clocks back tonight…
Fucking daylight robbery!

 

[tony from suffolk]

On this day 1605 Guy Fawkes began his journey to London. It would take him several days because his legs were made of old tights stuffed with newspapers.

 

[Dickie]

Reality check for how old you think you are.

Fall over in front of a group of people and

- if they laugh - you are young

- if they panic and rush to help you - you're old!

 

[oldfart]

My son was chewing on electrical cords, ...
so I had to ground him.
He's doing better currently
and conducting himself properly.

 

[Bob Cromer]

My son was chewing on electrical cords, ...
so I had to ground him.
He's doing better currently
and conducting himself properly.

Did he put up any resistance

 

[wellyjen]

Did he put up any resistance

A shocking pun.

 

[ZombieCake]

Chewing on electrical cords? Bet the sharp copper wire hertz.

 

[Mr Mike]

Chewing on electrical cords? Bet the sharp copper wire hertz.

Nope, copper is soft, your on the wrong wavelength.

 

[Bob Cromer]

A shocking pun.

But not as bad as: Ohm my God ! was there any reluctance

 

[RobinGriffiths]

I wouldn't show my phase in here after a pun like that.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Off the current topic but a joule of a joke....

There's a lot of crap on TV…
I'll have to put the budgie back in his cage!

 

[GarDouth]

I once had an invisible friend from Japan.
Mum said it was just my imagine Asian.

 

[Brains]

Apparently Boy George has been attacked by a reptile in the jungle, producers have said thay should have used a calmer chameleon

 

[Brains]

Q. Where do you find a cow with no legs?
.
.
.
.
.
.
A. Where you left it!

Q. Why did little Johnny drop his ice cream?
.
.
.
.
.
.
A. Because he was hit by a bus!

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Just ordered a reversible jacket…
I can't wait to see how it turns out!

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Asking for a friend...

Is it normal for one testicle to be bigger than the other two?

 

[AR]

Asking for a friend...

Is it normal for one testicle to be bigger than the other two?

Would that friend be the Russian bloke Ujanika Bolokov by any chance?

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Would that friend be the Russian bloke Ujanika Bolokov by any chance?

Nah Ivan Enormusnacker