• BCA Council meeting 16 July 2024

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Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
I went to the cinema last night. A man sat near me had his dog. The dog seemed really engrossed in the film.
When the film ended I said to the owner,
"This might sound weird, but your dog seemed to really enjoy that".
He replied, "Yes I was surprised too. He hated the book!"


Well-known member

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
Someone told me that pets settle far better if you let them sleep at the end of your bed...
It's true, my goldfish hasn't woken up yet!

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
A builder says to a girl in a nightclub, "I have an 8" penis & can make love all night."
The next morning she says, "You said you had an 8" penis & could last all night but it was only 5" & you lasted only 3 mins.
Builder replies, "I'm a builder. It was only a fucking estimate!"


Well-known member
A German shepherd, a Doberman and a cat all died and wen to heaven. There, they met God,who wanted to know what they believed in.
The German shepherd said "i believe in discipline, loyalty and training to my master". "Good" said God. "You may sit on my right side".
The Doberman said "I believe in love,care and protection of my master". "Aha, you may sit on my left side." said God.
Then God looked at the cat and asked what he believed in"? The cat replied " I believe you are sitting in my seat".

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
I was in Tesco earlier, and I said to the checkout lady,
"This has got today's date on it love. Can I get something knocked off?"
She said, "Do you want the fucking newspaper or not?"