Yesterday I went to a local flea market and found a really old Elvis record that I have never come across before.
The label said ‘Wooden Leg’
I said to the stall owner “That’s strange, I thought he sang Wooden Heart”
The guy running the stall replied “Yeah he did but this is the pirate version”.
Girlfriend: "Babe I want and really like this pair of shoes but I left my purse at home."
Me: "How much are they?"
Me: Opens wallet...
Me: "Here's £10. Get a taxi and go fetch your purse. I'll wait for you here!"