Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.


Well-known member
I hurt my arm this morning and had to go to hospital for an x-ray,
as I was sitting waiting to be seen, the lad next to me says," Fair fae yer honest sonsieface! Great chieftain o' the puddin race!!"
I was like, eh?!?!.,
I turned my head round to the the lady sat on my other side, she said, " ! Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie!"
I grabbed the next doc walking past I said, "here mate is this the psychiatric ward?"

He says," no this is the Burns unit" !

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member


Well-known member
The woman at the Job Centre said, "You're always late, you ignore the queue of people and you are rude to everyone."
I said, "What's your point?"
She said, "Have you ever thought of becoming a bus driver?"

Mrs Trellis

Well-known member
A man walks up to a woman in a nightclub and says,
"Hi, the name's Bond."
She says, "Don't tell me - your first name's James?"
"No," he replies. "It's Uni - I'm here to fill your crack!"