Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
l've just found out l'm in the Guinness World Records Book for the most clothes on a washing line…...
lt was a lot to take in!
lt was a lot to take in!
Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
- Thread starter Mrs Trellis
- Start date
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
I hate that feeling after surgery when you're not sure if you're awake or asleep.
Or even if you operated on the right patient.
Or even if you operated on the right patient.
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
Wooo hooo - I just sold my homing pigeon on ebay...........
.........for the 22nd time.
.........for the 22nd time.
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
A man goes into a chemist's and asks if they stock Viagra.
"We certainly do sir"
"Can I get it over the counter?"
"Probably if you take two"
"We certainly do sir"
"Can I get it over the counter?"
"Probably if you take two"
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
The police came to my door holding a picture of my wife.
They said, "Is this your wife?"
Shocked I answered, "Yes". They said, "We are afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus".
I said, "I know, but she takes it up the arse, does the cooking and she's good with the kids!"
They said, "Is this your wife?"
Shocked I answered, "Yes". They said, "We are afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus".
I said, "I know, but she takes it up the arse, does the cooking and she's good with the kids!"
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
Looking for a bit of advice.
What's the best number of Roses to give the girlfriend for Valentine's Day?
6? 12? 24?
or the whole tin?
What's the best number of Roses to give the girlfriend for Valentine's Day?
6? 12? 24?
or the whole tin?
Oceanrower
Active member
Magician: "I can make anything disappear."
Tom: holding a cup- “Do it to my tea!"
Magician: waves hand- "Done!"
om: holding a cup- "It didn't work."
Tom: holding a cup- “Do it to my tea!"
Magician: waves hand- "Done!"
om: holding a cup- "It didn't work."
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
Got the missus a new bag and a new belt for Valentines Day.
She'll be made up......
the hoover is as good as new now!
She'll be made up......
the hoover is as good as new now!
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
Phew! Just got back from A&E.
I hope the postie gets attended to soon.
Royal Mail really should put my post in sensibly sized bundles - say 100 envelopes - and use a lorry rather than a van for delivery.
I hope the postie gets attended to soon.
Royal Mail really should put my post in sensibly sized bundles - say 100 envelopes - and use a lorry rather than a van for delivery.
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
A lorry carrying incontinence pants has shed its load on the motorway.
Police are warning of long delays due to rubberknickers!
Police are warning of long delays due to rubberknickers!
tony from suffolk
Well-known member
The Nigerian football team were so disappointed with Saturday’s performance that they have said they will personally refund all expenses to fans who travelled to support them. All they need to do is send bank details, sort codes and PINs, & they will transfer the money directly…
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
I wonder if you can order a takeaway by telepathy.........
.........that's food for thought.
.........that's food for thought.
TheBitterEnd
Well-known member
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
The man who invented the word search has died. His funeral will be held next...
T T I S P V G K M P
H J G U O N Q U X
N M O N D A Y WZ
B A T K T E N O P G
H C V N K O T D I M
T T I S P V G K M P
H J G U O N Q U X
N M O N D A Y WZ
B A T K T E N O P G
H C V N K O T D I M
Mrs Trellis
Well-known member
A Manchester Airport female baggage handler is in critical condition after being caught in conveyor belt.
Her husband is waiting for her to come round.
Her husband is waiting for her to come round.
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