Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.

[Mrs Trellis]

.......more correctly "Why did she etc..........."

 

[Mrs Trellis]

 

[Space Doubt Caver]

 

[hoehlenforscher]

If, like me, you are always being accused of "being born in a barn", and need someone to talk to about it, come and find me

My door is always open.

 

[andys]

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, it s just two - but just how the hell did they get in there?

 

[hoehlenforscher]

A woman goes to the doctors and tells him there is something wrong with her aviaries

"Don't you mean ovaries? " the doc replies

She insists it's her aviaries so doc suggests she shows him what she means.

She takes off her knickers and lies down and opens her legs, at which point the doc sighs and says "I see what you mean now, there's definitely be a cockatoo in there"

 

[TheBitterEnd]

 

[andys]

Whoever put that "B" in the word "SUBTLE" deserves a pat on the back!

 

[Tricky Dicky]

You won’t hear from me for a while as I’m being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables…
I gotta lilo

 

[Mrs Trellis]

A woman goes to the doctor and says she has forgotten to take her contradictive pill.
The doctor says "pardon?" so she says it again
The doctor says "Madam - you are ignorant!!!"
She says "yes I know, about 3 months......."

 

[Mrs Trellis]

The shops are now full of Valentine's gifts

 

[Oceanrower]

A woman goes to the doctor and says she has forgotten to take her contradictive pill.
The doctor says "pardon?" so she says it again
The doctor says "Madam - you are ignorant!!!"
She says "yes I know, about 3 months......."

Nope. Your hoping to have to explain that one…

 

[oldfart]

Before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Nope. Your hoping to have to explain that one…

What's my hoping to do with anything?

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Banks! We're now into February and the cash machines still haven't been stocked up after Xmas.

Every machine I've tried says - "Insufficient funds".

 

[andys]

 

[hoehlenforscher]

I had some cold-caller ring me up today trying to sell me a coffin. Seriously, a coffin! That’s the last thing I need.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

To the person who stole my glasses...I will find you........
I have contacts

 

[Tricky Dicky]

Whoever put that "B" in the word "SUBTLE" deserves a pat on the back!

And whoever put 3 ts in Stutter deserves a kick in the butt

 

[Mrs Trellis]

And whoever put 3 ts in Stutter deserves a kick in the butt

Wynkyn de Worde