Author Topic: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.  (Read 1307225 times)

Offline TheBitterEnd

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6800 on: May 29, 2020, 07:00:54 pm »
I liked the question from Sky news to Gove that went like this

Sky - "What's the government advice on what to do if Covid has affected your eye sight"

Gove - "Seek medical attention"

Sky - "So it's not to put a 4 year old in the back of your car and go for a drive?"

'Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.' — Mark Twain

Offline Pitlamp

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6801 on: May 29, 2020, 08:35:32 pm »
I don't know whether to laugh or emigrate.

Online Duck ditch

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6802 on: May 29, 2020, 08:45:22 pm »
I’m surprised I’ve beaten zombiecake to this you tube clip. 

Offline ZombieCake

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6803 on: May 29, 2020, 11:32:24 pm »
Quote
I’m surprised I’ve beaten zombiecake to this you tube clip.
I do apologise, I have had a rare fit of sanity.  I've contacted my tailor (regrettably not the Swift one) and ordered a better straight jacket. Normal service should resume soon.  By the way, that's an excellent Bobby Pickett cover, well spotted.

Offline TheBitterEnd

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6804 on: May 30, 2020, 10:25:37 pm »
You know how the Dutch tulips grow so well?

They feed the plants on ground up hamsters - that's Tulips from hamster jam
'Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.' — Mark Twain

Online tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6805 on: May 31, 2020, 05:14:46 pm »
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender asks the rabbit, “what’ll it be?”

The rabbit says, “I dunno. I’m only here because of Autocorrect”.
"Aim low, achieve your goals, avoid disappointment"

Online Martin Wright

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6806 on: June 01, 2020, 08:51:31 am »
The seven dwarves have been told that from today they can meet in groups of six. One of them isn't Happy.
The deepest solace lies in understanding this ancient unseen stream

Online tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6807 on: June 01, 2020, 09:06:42 am »
I never get a second love letter - even after I've gone to all the trouble of sending back the first with highlighted spelling and grammatical corrections.
"Aim low, achieve your goals, avoid disappointment"

Online tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6808 on: Today at 08:57:09 am »
Granddad’s in a home now. Amazing isn’t it? - 89 years old and he’s still an active burglar.
"Aim low, achieve your goals, avoid disappointment"

 

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