UK Caving

OTHER STUFF => Idle Chat => Topic started by: Laurie on February 06, 2014, 11:30:13 pm

Title: Poser
Post by: Laurie on February 06, 2014, 11:30:13 pm
What does the thing that's at the bottom of the food chain eat?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Dave Tyson on February 06, 2014, 11:34:08 pm
sunlight & co2
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on February 06, 2014, 11:50:21 pm
Why do ballet dancers stand on their toes? Why don't they just get taller girls?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Pitlamp on February 07, 2014, 08:10:11 am
What does the thing that's at the bottom of the food chain eat?

Nothing; it makes the food which supports the rest of the food chain, which is why it's referred to as a "producer".
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Pitlamp on February 07, 2014, 08:11:24 am
. . . good point about the ballet dancers though!
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: cavermark on February 07, 2014, 09:29:58 am
Why do ballet dancers stand on their toes? Why don't they just get taller girls?

How far could the male dancers carry a 6 foot tall girl over their head?!
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: mm on February 07, 2014, 09:38:37 am
What does the thing that's at the bottom of the food chain eat?

my caving grotts

m.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Pitlamp on February 07, 2014, 11:08:39 am
Absolutely right - if they're made of a non synthetic material such as cotton.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Peter Burgess on February 07, 2014, 11:28:47 am
What does the thing that's at the bottom of the food chain eat?
Stuff that comes out of the bottom of things at the top of the food chain?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Pitlamp on February 07, 2014, 11:57:38 am
What does the thing that's at the bottom of the food chain eat?
Stuff that comes out of the bottom of things at the top of the food chain?

 :lol:   . . . but not strictly true.

How far could the 6 ft tall girls carry the male dancers is the real question!   :-\
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: cavermark on February 07, 2014, 06:45:05 pm

How far could the 6 ft tall girls carry the male dancers is the real question!   :-\

They could take me all the way to wherever they wanted!  8) (but they would probably just want to get me off the dancefloor before I injured someone!)
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: glyders on February 07, 2014, 07:17:00 pm
Not all producers are photosynthetic (producing food energy from sunlight and CO2). Some are chaemosynthetic (producing food energy from other chemical reactions). Examples include those near black smokers (no jokes about BA and a cigar please) and in a few caves.  Those near black smokers support a rather large food chain.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Roger W on February 07, 2014, 10:21:40 pm
And some of them at or near the bottom feed on dead 'uns from at or near the top...
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Burt on February 08, 2014, 05:42:02 pm
when does a shoot become a sapling, and a sapling become a tree?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: crickleymal on February 08, 2014, 09:05:54 pm
How does the man who drives the snowplough get to work?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: graham on February 08, 2014, 09:28:50 pm
How does the man who drives the snowplough get to work?

I know the answer to that one, I've seen the advert. ;)
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: graham on February 08, 2014, 09:29:16 pm
when does a shoot become a sapling, and a sapling become a tree?

Usually on a Tuesday.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on February 08, 2014, 09:49:11 pm
42
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: JessopSmythe on February 08, 2014, 10:54:18 pm
Why do men have nipples?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on February 08, 2014, 11:08:27 pm
Why do men have nipples?
To justify owning a grease gun?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on April 18, 2014, 12:03:00 am
Why are battered onion rings in restaurants all the same size?
What happens to the rest of the onion?
How are they sorted for size?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: bograt on April 18, 2014, 12:09:05 am
Why are battered onion rings in restaurants all the same size?
What happens to the rest of the onion?
How are they sorted for size?

I usually make bahjies out of the other bits. (or is that bargees?)
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: damo8604 on April 18, 2014, 12:17:58 am
Why do men have nipples?
easy one! Because we all start out as embryos the same, our gender is only determined later in the gestation perod  but by that time our nipples are already there, like that tattoo you wished you never got
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: damo8604 on April 18, 2014, 12:24:14 am
Why is marmalade called marmalade and not called 'orange jam'
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: mmilner on April 18, 2014, 02:00:26 am
Why do men have nipples?
easy one! Because we all start out as embryos the same, our gender is only determined later in the gestation perod  but by that time our nipples are already there, like that tattoo you wished you never got

this is absolutely true.  :thumbsup: Though  gender (in the brain) is different from physical sex at birth. (ie:- physical attributes.) It's complicated, a lot more than many people think...
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: kay on April 18, 2014, 08:53:09 am
Why is marmalade called marmalade and not called 'orange jam'

Because it should be made out of marmelo, or quince. In Portugal, marmelada is that rich and delicious quince paste that you eat with cheese, and orange jam is made with sweet oranges  and totally different to our lovely bitter tasting marmalade.

Home made jams in Portugal are different - I remember sitting down to breakfast with three homemade jams on the table - pumpkin, tomato (red tomato, not a way of using up green ones), and carrot!
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Fulk on April 18, 2014, 09:03:16 am
We've all heard the expression, 'Well, however bad it might be, there's always someone worse off'.

So, the poser – who is the poor sod on the planet 'than whom there is no-one worse off'?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: TheBitterEnd on April 18, 2014, 12:44:02 pm
Why don't they make oversuits out of that stuff they wrap DVDs in, everybody knows you cant rip that
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: tony from suffolk on April 18, 2014, 01:50:11 pm
Why is marmalade called marmalade and not called 'orange jam'

For the same reason it's lemon curd, not lemon jam.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: kay on April 18, 2014, 04:24:14 pm
Why is marmalade called marmalade and not called 'orange jam'

For the same reason it's lemon curd, not lemon jam.

Why not lemon cheese?

But it's not the same reason. Marmalade is a jam made from oranges, misnamed after a foreign fruit name, lemon curd/lemon cheese has eggs in it and so isn't a jam, since jams should be just fruit and sugar. Jam from lemons is lemon marmalade.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: tony from suffolk on April 18, 2014, 05:43:20 pm
OK, smartypants!  ;D
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: damo8604 on April 18, 2014, 08:25:53 pm
How come you never see a ghost dressed in a shell suit & trainers?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: cavermark on April 18, 2014, 08:52:29 pm
..because I'm never dressed in a shell suit and trainers!
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on April 19, 2014, 10:04:03 am
Every ghost I've ever seen was dressed in a shell suit and trainers.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on March 16, 2017, 11:17:58 am
Rain weighs 1Kg/L, no matter how heavy it gets.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Vulcan on March 16, 2017, 12:55:09 pm
Because Kg/L isn't a unit of weight, its a unit of density (the mass per unit volume). Hence it can't have a weight of 1 Kg/L, it has a density of 1 Kg/L, and this would remain constant (at constant pressure and temperature).
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on March 16, 2017, 01:26:00 pm
Awkward *%!&*!

OK, 1 Ltr of rain weighs 1 Kg no matter how heavy it gets.   :tease:

 ;)
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Pitlamp on March 16, 2017, 01:28:29 pm
"Kg/L" isn't a unit of anything.

"kg/dm3" might be more precise. (The "3" should be superscript of course but I'm far too dumb to work out how to make it go up there!)

So, yep, one "litre" of rain (if pure) weighs 1 kg.

OK, I'll just get my coat . . .
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: mudman on March 16, 2017, 01:31:33 pm
"Kg/L" isn't a unit of anything.

"kg/dm3" might be more precise. (The "3" should be superscript of course but I'm far too dumb to work out how to make it go up there!)

So, yep, one "litre" of rain (if pure) weighs 1 kg.

OK, I'll just get my coat . . .

Shouldn't that be one litre of rain at standard density and pressure weighs 1Kg?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: marysboy on March 16, 2017, 01:34:00 pm
technically speaking, kilogram is the unit of mass (not of weight)

weight is a force and would be expressed in newton
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on March 16, 2017, 01:36:11 pm
"kg/dm³" might be more precise. (The "3" should be superscript of course but I'm far too dumb to work out how to make it go up there!)
That better?  ::)
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Pitlamp on March 16, 2017, 01:37:51 pm
Almost right mudman - but kg not "Kg".

Marysboy is of course right.

Nice one Laurie (you clever beggar!).   ;)

Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Vulcan on March 16, 2017, 01:56:20 pm
Litres are an SI accepted unit of volume equal to 1 cubic decimetre (dm3).

So 1 L of rain weighs 9.807 N at standard pressure and temperature.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Roger W on March 16, 2017, 02:07:45 pm
So one pint (or gallon) weighs what in pounds and ounces?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: mudman on March 16, 2017, 02:13:48 pm
Almost right mudman - but kg not "Kg".

Marysboy is of course right.

Nice one Laurie (you clever beggar!).   ;)

Damn. Out-pendanted.  :-\

And bugger, pressure, not density. Long time since my physics days.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Pitlamp on March 16, 2017, 02:28:34 pm
So one pint (or gallon) weighs what in pounds and ounces?

 :lol:

Never mind that - it's what a pint costs that counts!   ::)
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: RichardB1983 on March 16, 2017, 02:29:48 pm
Awkward *%!&*!

OK, 1 Ltr of rain weighs 1 Kg no matter how heavy it gets.   :tease:

 ;)

But does it if it's actually "heavy water" - D2O?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: grahams on March 16, 2017, 03:26:22 pm
Awkward *%!&*!

OK, 1 Ltr of rain weighs 1 Kg no matter how heavy it gets.   :tease:

 ;)

But does it if it's actually "heavy water" - D2O?
The molecular weigh of water is 18 (oxygen (16) + 2 hydrogen (1)). Deuterium has a molecular weight of 2 so D2O 1s 20/18 times as heavy as H2O. (No doubt that will be contradicted by someone that knows at more than me about this subject).
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: mudman on March 16, 2017, 03:41:37 pm
Awkward *%!&*!

OK, 1 Ltr of rain weighs 1 Kg no matter how heavy it gets.   :tease:

 ;)

But does it if it's actually "heavy water" - D2O?

Heavy water has a density of 1.107 g/cm³ so 1 litre will weigh 1.107 kg
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on March 16, 2017, 06:07:24 pm
An Imperial Gallon (of water) weighs 10 lbs.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Fulk on March 16, 2017, 06:14:21 pm
Ho hum,

Quote
Rain weighs 1Kg/L, no matter how heavy it gets.

And there I was, thinking it was a joke.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on March 16, 2017, 09:21:55 pm
Ho hum,

Quote
Rain weighs 1Kg/L, no matter how heavy it gets.

And there I was, thinking it was a joke.

......but much more fun.  ::)
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on February 26, 2018, 10:53:59 am
How can it be that each year about 400,000 Americans are injured by their bedding or beds. Seriously - what do Americans do in or near their beds?
Another 40,000 Americans are injured by their clothing. Underpants haematoma? Compound pyjama fracture? Or do they just strangle each other with their clothing?
You will no doubt relieved to know that only one American was injured by a moose coming through his windscreen. No doubt the mooses (meese?) of America were also pleased.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: crickleymal on February 26, 2018, 10:57:40 am
How can it be that each year about 400,000 Americans are injured by their bedding or beds. Seriously - what do Americans do in or near their beds?

Probably shoot each other.
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: shotlighter on February 26, 2018, 12:19:02 pm
Ho hum,

Quote
Rain weighs 1Kg/L, no matter how heavy it gets.

Only at 101.325 kPa & 20 C IIRC  (been a while since I last had to do gravimetric calibration)
  :smartass:
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on August 05, 2020, 12:53:35 pm
Why do shoe-laces only break when you're in a hurry?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: mikem on August 05, 2020, 01:09:39 pm
Because your children / grandchildren always tie them together...?
Title: Re: Poser
Post by: Laurie on August 12, 2020, 02:05:47 pm
The Obituary Thread nearly always has a new post in it.
Must deter a lot of potential cavers who only read the headlines.... :doubt: