Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.

[Oceanrower]

A new World Rich List has just been published.

Turns out the top 11 are Argentinian…

 

[Fulk]

And much good did it do them.

 

[TheBitterEnd]

 

[Mrs Trellis]

I told my parents I was into heavy metal..........
So they bought me a tuba

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Whilst the missus was out tonight I started watching England......
then she suddenly turned up out of the blue...
I quickly put some porn on the TV and pulled my trousers down to avoid any embarrassment!

 

[tony from suffolk]

Taking inspiration from 'I'm a Celebrity' I ate a cow's testicle, a pig's eyeball and a sheep's penis last night.
Or a Lidl sausage roll as it's better known.

 

[Aubrey]

Taking inspiration from 'I'm a Celebrity' I ate a cow's testicle, a pig's eyeball and a sheep's penis last night.
Or a Lidl sausage roll as it's better known.

Wow - you had the one with the meat in?

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Air fryer question...

What does fried air taste like?

 

[Mrs Trellis]

If anybody knows of any lonely old people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends,
can they let me know, as I need to borrow some chairs!

 

[Digit]

If anybody knows of any lonely old people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends,
can they let me know, as I need to borrow some chairs!

Try Westminster

 

[TheBitterEnd]

A truck loaded with Vicks Vaporub overturned on the M5 earlier today.


Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.

 

[Mrs Trellis]

There was this fat, ugly, spotty kid in my class that I used to tease and call names......
I think that's what led to me losing my job as a teacher!

 

[Mrs Trellis]

I thought I'd modernise the play with a lesbian shower scene......

I thought it worked ok but some parents thought it spoiled to nativity.

 

[hoehlenforscher]

Just had an email from the British Orienteering Association asking if I'd be interested in learning how to read maps backwards.

Turns out it was spam.

 

[oldfart]

What was the name of the joiner who built King Arthur's round table?











Sir Comference

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Sir Cumference.

 

[TheBitterEnd]

I looked out my window and saw my neighbour helping a guy in a black robe clear the frost off his car with a scythe.

"Stop," I said to my neighbour. "You're de-icing with death"

 

[Mrs Trellis]

My furniture goes back to Louis the 14th…
unless I pay Louis by the 13th!

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Scientists have discovered the first two people on earth were Cockneys…
would you Adam and Eve it?

 

[Mrs Trellis]

Bath Rugby squad Xmas lunch...........