Author Topic: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.  (Read 1257467 times)

Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6625 on: February 10, 2020, 01:52:16 pm »
I aim to please!  :)!
"Aim low, achieve your goals, avoid disappointment"

Offline Maj

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6626 on: February 10, 2020, 09:30:21 pm »
My horse is a rubbish at ballroom dancing.

I think he's got two left feet!

Maj.
Confucius say "War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left."

Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6627 on: February 12, 2020, 12:15:02 pm »
I saw an Irish dancing show today called ‘Streamdance’. It’s not quite as good as ‘Riverdance’, but then it is only a tributary act.
"Aim low, achieve your goals, avoid disappointment"

Offline TheBitterEnd

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6628 on: February 13, 2020, 07:52:44 am »
"Storm Ciara destroyed my caravan"  says singer Cat Stevens


He said "my awning has broken"

'Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.' — Mark Twain

Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6629 on: February 14, 2020, 01:39:27 pm »
I started a postal guitar repairing service, but I had to stop when I started receiving frets in the mail.
"Aim low, achieve your goals, avoid disappointment"

Offline Laurie

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6630 on: February 14, 2020, 02:05:42 pm »
I started a postal guitar repairing service, but I had to stop when I started receiving frets in the mail.
Oh dear, oh dear...
MNRC

Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6631 on: February 15, 2020, 06:52:23 pm »
I believe in honesty with my kids.
When they say “Daddy, what will I be when I grow up ?” I tell them "Disappointed."
"Aim low, achieve your goals, avoid disappointment"

Offline andys

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6632 on: February 17, 2020, 10:41:05 am »
Teacher, working round the class: "And what do you want to be when you grow up, Lonnie?"
Lonnie: "A dustman."
Teacher: "Well, I'm not sure there's any money in that, so why?"
Lonnie: "My old man's a dustman!"
Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.

Offline GarDouth

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6633 on: February 17, 2020, 03:05:02 pm »
They say one friend out of every group has the potential to be a serial killer, so I threw Dave off a cliff just in case it was him.
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Offline tony from suffolk

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Re: Friday joke - WARNING - contains swearing.
« Reply #6634 on: Yesterday at 07:26:34 pm »
I told my doctor that I have a problem with my left ear.
He said “Are you sure ?”
I said “Yes, I’m definite”
"Aim low, achieve your goals, avoid disappointment"